Or at least a DJ Roomba to accompany the process:
But alas, I had to do all the cleaning and iPod player moving by hand. However, it did give me some time to contemplate one of my (ironically?) favorite miniseries, The Thorn Birds. Every time I shake out a rug, I instantly wish Richard Chamberlain's Father Ralph de Bricassart was there to excessively beat it against a railing for me:
Seriously, Chamberlain, calm down. The dust of Drogheda is never coming out of that rug.
Although I remember imagining Father Ralph as another, much hotter man of the cloth when I read The Thorn Birds in high school: