Live blogging The Voice: 5/31/11

Yeah, I'm a day late again. Deal with it.

Gratuitous Adam Levine. You're welcome.

Adam Levine has Jeff and Casey left. I'm overwhelmed by Casey's Rihanna-red hair and...romper? Adam chooses "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." Good choice. Apparently Casey makes her own costumes. I believe it. I just got a sewing machine this last Christmas. Maybe I should make my own crazy shit to wear when I go to karaoke.

Practice: Adam singing is lovely. Aww, these Jeff and Casey sound good so far in the practice.

Pre-show self-pep talks: ridiculous, but at least these two didn't say anything that makes me vomit.

Performance: This sounds good! I think I might go with Jeff because he has the more resonant voice.

Judging: Reba couldn't keep her eyes off Jeff, Blake couldn't keep her eyes off Casey. Christina: bland comments. Cee Lo sides with Jeff. Coach Adam is all "both of you are awesome"ing and advisor Adam whispers to him dramatically. COMMERCIAL BREAK. WHO WILL WIN? He chooses Jeff. Well done. He's so Gary LeVox lovable.
Blake Shelton has Xenia and Sara left and chooses "I'll Stand By You." HOLY CRAP HE'S 89457 FEET TALLER THAN BOTH OF THEM. Anyway, he says that since they're both bashful, he wants to see who will stand out. Fun.

Practice: Reba says "piana" for "piano." Reba is so fabulous. Can I be her when I grow up? Oh. Blake and Reba made Xenia cry.

Performance: Xenia's voice is so sweet and interesting. Sara is harnessing all the powers of American Idol melisma. Barf. Xenia better win this. This is an interesting combination. Xenia doesn't have much volume, but she's more pleasant to listen to than Sara.

Judging: Christina picks up on Sara's "pitchy"ness. Cee Lo's equally impressed. Adam: there were nerves flying around everywhere and it wasn't the right song for them. Blake's all: just deal with the song. Reba: talking about how nervous and scared they both were. Blake chooses Xenia! YES! Blake, you give me life.
Christina Aguilera has Lily and Cherie and is having them sing "Since You Been Gone" since it's neither of their genres. What a crazy song. It's hella high.

Practice: As pointed out by my sister, I do know who Sia is. Or at least that one song. WOW. Lily's hitting those notes. These harmonies that Christina has her team do always sound terrible.

Pre-show self-pep talks: Extra ridiculous. Blah blah blah I used to be a back-up singer.

Performance: Lily is donning some sort of hood thing. Too bad she can't find the right pitch. Cherie actually sounds good on this chorus. Color me impressed. Lily is trying, but it's a little out of her range and her vocal runs aren't helping.

Judging: Adam: new energy, sound fantastic. Apparently Cherie helped write a number one song for Reba or something. Cee Lo is snapping. Sia says Lily's high note was spectacular: false. Completely off-topic critique: Christina likes Lily's shorty shorts and heels combo. Lily wins. LAME. Christina has terrible taste sometimes.
Cee Lo has Emily and Curtis. Emily is freaking out because she is friends with Curtis. Suck it up, woman. Cee Lo chooses "Need You Now." Cee Lo gets all philosophical about the song. I have to admit I like the song. LOL, Curtis has some heartbroken baseball story.

Practice: Yes! Building up the Emily-Curtis shipper. Good work, "The Voice" editors. I kind of have a crush on Curtis just like Emily. Hahahaha, Cee Lo is stirring up some method-acting. Love it.

Pre-show self-pep talks: Emily is so crushing hard on Curtis. Curtis is all, "Women aren't worth it."

Performance: Curtis is nailing the harmonies, and he totally looks like Timothy Hutton. LOVE. Their harmonies are pretty good, although not ~magical~ because Emily is a little off. Oh wait! Awkward duet eye contact! Curtis is my choice. OH! Battle round make-out at the end! LOLOLOL. Reality show magic!

Judging: Blake gets punny: "duet, not do it." Adam: jealous of Curtis' baritone. Christina: Emily was shaky, but had a lot of strong notes. Monica: just can't choose. Cee Lo: Emily out of her comfort zone and Curtis is comfortable. CURTIS WINS! YES! My Timothy Hutton fetish will carry on.
Preview: It's live next week, folks, and on at an earlier hour. Boyfriend will be out of the country by then, so I'm pretty sure I'll have nothing better to do than watch it live. There's also a special coach performance: amusing. I think I'll miss the dueting. That was pretty entertaining and creative. I'm afraid of American Idol-like hijinks will ensue. I'll just hope for the best!


  1. Loving you. Loving this. Also am half-watching the show, so I can read your blog and pretend we watched it together in a creepy, stalker-friend way.

  2. Yay! Stalker friends forever.