Blake Shelton's dreamy hair from the early 2000s.
I want you guys to know that I managed to buy the regular sweetened kind of almond chocolate milk to drink during this show. I also want you to know that Cee Lo is wearing a lot of sequins and Christina looks extra orange. First event of the evening: eliminations from last week. The lowest three voted on Christina's and Blake's teams will be up for elimination. Two will make it through to the next round.
Team Christina is first. I'm hoping Raquel or Beverly go. They're both boring. Christina is "literally so sad" about making this decision. Tears are happening. Beverly is safe. Stopped dragging this out Carson Daly. Stop trying to talk about people are feeling. This isn't therapy. To be fair, Christina sounds legitimately nervous/shaken. But we have to listen to how she feels about everyone. GET TO IT, WOMAN.
Christina chooses Frenchie to go on to the next round. 1/2 ain't bad, Christina. Apparently Blake will make his eliminations at the end of the show. The backstage chick is talking about ~emotions~ with Team Blake and other peeps. I'm bored. GET TO IT, WOMAN.
Commercial break: Colin Farrell looks like he'll be funny in Horrible Bosses. I might be in love with him now (I know, I'm a few years late for this sort of crush). In fact, that whole cast looks good, although that movie looks a bit horrible. Maybe it actually is funny, and they're saving the good moments for the movie. We can hope.
Cee Lo's Tori and Taylor Thompson are up next. They're going to be singing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" WTF?
Performance: AH! PATRIOTISM! They don't sound too bad. I really miss the third voice in the harmony, though. This is better than I thought it was going to be, and they are two of the cutest girls I've ever seen. I don't know if I'll care by the end of the show though. Carson informs us it's Flag Day.
Judges Critiques: Adam: Good old-fashioned entertainment. Blake: loving the oufits (40s-erific). Christina: complimenting the stage direction. Cee Lo: so proud of the girls and to be an American.
Adam's Casey Weston will be singing KT Tunstall's "Black Horse On a Cherry Tree." Adam is encouraging energy rather than a slow ballad.
Performance: Some dudes are playing upside-down buckets. This reminds me of a stomp routine I did in high school for dance team. BTW, Casey sounds pretty good. I love her gritty upper range. She might be one of my favorites in this competition. Damn, the back-up singers are getting down. And she tosses her guitar pick at the end.
Judges Critiques: Blake: about to download her song and Blue Man Group jokes. Christina: again talking about the staging, and talking about tigers. Which are orange. Like her. Cee Lo: joking. Adam: Giving Cee Lo crap and compliments her on her energy.
Back from commercial, Blake admits to drinking not water. Love him. Up next, Cee Lo's Vicci Martinez is singing the Dolly Parton classic "Jolene." Best choice.
Performance. Ooo, mood lighting. Vicci's taking it nice and slow. I love all this husky-voiced women on this show. Oh, snap! She's kicking it up to a higher melody. Not the most exciting moment of the night, but pretty solid.
Judges Critiques: Adam: "soulful, raw, honest." Blake: Vicci's explosive, huge fan. Christina: "feelin' it" and loved the ambiance. Cee Lo: "worked the stage like a professional," something about vulnerability, and go Team Cee Lo!
Team Dama's Devon Barley. He's going to see "Stop and Stare" by One Republic. Ugh, it's like my junior year of college all over again. My roommates were obsessed with One Republic. Again the talk of vulnerability. Adam takling about an athletic stance with the microphone.
Performance: Oh honey, you sound okay, but you're a little sharp. And I really like you. I love Adam's co-performance from his chair. Now he's a little flat. :( His outfit matches Carson's.
Judges Critiques: Blake: loves that it was a guy singing his ass off. Christina: appreciates his swagger. Cee Lo: I'm too distracted by his jacket and Christina's giggling to know what he's saying. Adam: likes to keep the stage presentation to a minimum (good for you, buddy). Does mention the pitch issues, but encouraging.
Team Cee Lo is at a spa or something? Why are they wearing robes. And what is this necklace he's wearing. Some sort of group warm fuzzy direction is going on. GET TO IT, TEAM. Oh, it is a massage place. Nice.
Team Cee Lo is performing "Everyday People." This is delightfully 70s. There is a dancing horn section. The clap-laugh that Adam is doing is describing how I feel about this. So much fringe and vests. Did I mention Cee Lo's Sly (of the Family Stone) wig? It's happening. Well played, Team Cee Lo. So far, everyone else is way more creative than Christina. I will never forgive "Lady Marmalade."
Awkward twitter moment that is best ignored. Commercial break.
Nakia from Team Cee Lo is sing Kings of Leon's "Sex is On Fire." Also a great sing loudly in the car song. I love Cee Lo's sexy sunglasses removal during rehearsal.
Performance: Ooh, nice suit. Ooh, girls twirling fire. He sounds good. Let's just be honest, the mainstream Kings of Leon writes some good music. The instruments drop, and he's on his knees. LOL. Well done.
Judges Critiques: Blake: "felt the burn". Cee Lo: great job, impeccable.
Adam's Jeff Jenkins will be singing "Jesus Take the Wheel." I cannot take this song seriously, but I also have to admit this is a very powerful song. Blah blah blah, raising the key. "Makin' mom proud."
Performance: This is already going to be great, I've got goosebumps.YES. He's killing this chorus. His voice is like heaven. Aww, he's thanking the audience. Cutest.
Judges Critiques: Christina: therapizing Jeff about his song choice, "beautiful." Adam: forgot about the competition and taking notes because he such a good performer. True. Looks like they're speeding along the show by skipping over some of the judges. I'm upset I don't get to hear Blake talk.
Team Adam is at Adam's place. Nice patio. Talking about the gimmicks other coaches are going to pull. Adam, you're winning me over.
Team Adam is performing "With a Little Help From My Friends." Back-up gospel choir! So many silky smooth voices, mmm. Jeff is really bringing it home. I have to say, I wish I could hear the team rather than just the gospel choir. However, it give Adam the opportunity to scream and Javier to melisma. Oh! John Burroughs High School provided the back-up. Fun!
Cee Lo's Curtis Grimes is next, and Cee Lo is having him sing "Addicted to Love." Cee Lo is demanding more raunch. I can't wait.
Performance: Yessss, he's got some dancing background ladies. The country twang on this song is working. Curtis has a lot of understated charisma. AHAHAHAHA: Curtis feeling up the ladies. Perfect.
Judges Critiques: Adam: Curtis wears the cowboy hat, jealous of his deep/manly voice. Blake: go country! Christina: Ew, flirting with Curtis making him say sleazy stuff, pointing out Team Cee Lo's sexualness. Carson is making Christina speed things up. Cee Lo: our team is "kicking ass."
Adam's Javier Colon is singing "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. ?????? Are we at a point where this song isn't the worst yet? Adam telling him to stay true to the melody.
Performance: His falsetto is effortless and lovely. The tempo of the song is sped up and the sassy second verse is vastly improving the pukey association I have to this song. Well played, Javier.
He's receiving a butt ton of applause from the in-studio audience.
Judges Critiques: Blake: compliments. Christina: "The one that got away." Good choice, Javier. You went with someone who wouldn't whore out your voice. Cee Lo: "The voice of an angel." Adam: "Absolutely perfect."
Voting officially open.
Team Blake elimination time. I'm kind of feeling Dia and Xenia because they're adorable. America's votes saved Dia. Yay! Blake looks super serial. There's a lot of chatting. Blake is at least making things as snappy as possible. He chooses Xenia because he can effect more change. It looks like Xenia's sister is sobbing profusely. Love it.