It opens with the coaches taking the stage. The return of a Queen cover (this time with David Bowie) with "Under Pressure." Good choice, except every time Christina sings solo, Freddie Mercury's corpse cries.
Things that will be happening tonight: finalists performing with their coaches and an original song (~interesting), as well as Brad "totally endearing" Paisley, and other surprises.
Oh good, a 43958734985734985 minute recap. All you need to know is that the finalists are
Team Christina: Beverly McClellan
Team Blake: Dia Frampton
Team Adam: Javier Colon
Team Cee Lo: Vicci Martinez
Blah, blah blah. Chatting to the finalists. Chatting to the coaches. Lol, Carson Daly made a TRL reference. You're still as boring of a host 10 years on.
Cee Lo chatting about wanting more strong females. I like that. Adam and Christina are bland. Blake is darling as usual. Isn't Blake just a breath of fresh air for TV?
SHUT UP, TECHIE GIRL.
Javier Colon is up first. Rodney Jerkins is helping out with the original song. This song is entitled "Stitch by Stitch." Acoustic-tastic. Let's see if I can come up with a good pop culture formula for this song:
(The Script + Eva Cassidy)^21st Century Adult Contemporary = "Stitch by Stitch"
Judges critiques: Blake: "He's a good dude." Christina: Song suited him well. Cee Lo: "Sounds like it's your song." Adam: May or may not have gotten choked up.
Dia Frampton is duetting with Blake Shelton with "Won't Back Down." Well, it's a sufficiently bland enough song for Dia. To be fair, they're wearing shades and suits, Blues Brothers style. Dammit, this is adorable. It reminds me that sometimes Tom Petty songs are good in a driving-in-the-car sort of way. Question: Do that many guitarists in this back-up band have long hair? Solid, forgettable, cute performance.
Vicci Martinez is up next for her solo. Butch Walker is producing her single. Vicci confesses to Dashboard Confessional as her teenage guilty pleasure. She's pretty awesome. Her original song is called "Afraid to Sleep." She's carrying around the microphone stand. Pop culture analogy for the song:
(80s Heart + Pink)/Oh oh oh = "Afraid to Sleep"
Judges critiques: Adam: talking about having fun being a spectator. Invested in her performance. Apparently she has some jeans Adam gives her. Blake: Been in her pants joke. Christina: great performer. Cee Lo: "A force to be reckoned with." (Have I mentioned Cee Lo's red silk robe/tunic thing?)
Random performance of Pitbull and Ne-Yo "Give Me Everything." Pitbull is everywhere these days, including that ridiculous Jennifer Lopez song "On the Floor" that I hear at least twice per day during my commute to my internship. He's kind of an obnoxious rapper, but I love me some Ne-Yo. Except he just tried to seduce Christina. Ne-yo, you're in the danger zone.
Beverly and Christina will be performing "Beautiful." Barf. Anytime anyone performs this song and it's not in Mean Girls, I have second-hand embarrassment. Well, it wasn't that terrible. They kept things stripped down except their tacky vocals. Beverly sounded better, though.
RIDICULOUS PREVIEW FOR SOME SINGING SHOW WITH DEBORAH MESSING AND "BEAUTIFUL." FAME PART 2: THIS TIME IT'S NOT GLEE?
Dia Frampton is next. Cheesy things are said during the recording. Her song is titled "Inventing Shadows." Pop culture analogy:
(Regina Spektor x Rachael Yamagata)/The Fray = "Inventing Shadows"
In other words, vanilla as hell, but with potential to not completely suck, but it kind of is super boring.
Judges critiques: Christina: trying to pick a fight with the judges, and Blake owns her. Cee Lo: song will probably be #1 on iTunes (BECAUSE IT'S SO BORING). Adam: distracted by the dancers in the background (because he's awesome). Blake: talking trash, like a champ. Can I just vote for Blake?
LOL. Javier and Adam are singing Michael Jackon's "Man in the Mirror." Darling choice, and it'll take advantage of their high ranges. This song is so magic, and these two sound good together, although I wish they would harmonize on the chorus. Javier is totally owning Adam on the key change. I love they're both doing the "hoo!"s. Nice.
Guys, Brad Paisley is performing. I can't say I know every song he's ever written, but I always like his songs, and I'm kind of in love with him. Blake is joining in! Of course. One of these days Blake will perform next to someone and not be a foot taller than them. This is not that day.
Beverly McClellan is next. I missed who the producer is again. I've decided I don't care. Her song is called "Love Sick." It's incredible how bland all of these songs sound on first listen, but would probably all become hits. This original song bit is a fun twist to a voice performance. Pop culture formula:
Journey x Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band = "Love Sick"
Guys, this is my favorite song of the night. My classic rock tendencies have spoken, once again.
Judges critiques: Cee Lo: getting poetic. One of his favorites. Adam: it was ~fun~ Blake: "If music was crack, you would have a serious problem." Christina: work ethic and big heart.
Cee Lo and Vicci are singing Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield." I love Cee Lo's musical choices. Cee Lo looks like King Bowser. Vicci may or may not be the leader to a short of stature post-apocalyptic tribe. This is brilliant. Any time you can combine small children dancing, spikes, gritty vocals, and 80s chick rock, do it.
I don't know who to vote for. Who is your choice?
P.S. I won't be live blogging tomorrow night, but I'll post something celebrating the winner. Good night!