I'm too lazy to recap anything but performances, so, deal with it.
Oh what was that? A performance over 10 minutes in?
1. Pip, Jamar Rogers, James Missoni, and Jermaine Paul sing the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back." They look good in gold jackets, have I told you that? This is an adorable performance. Why doesn't The Voice do more awesome group performances that blend teams?
2. Juliet Simms helps out Flo Rida sing "Wild Ones." It should go without saying, but the chorus is the best part of this song and Juliet does it well. Flo Rida makes music for jump ropers, essentially, he's so boring and consistent with the beat.
3. Chris Mann, Lindsey Pavao, and Katrina Parker sing "Bittersweet Symphony." Hello, 1999! I really meant to do a blog post talking about Cruel Intentions, the film this song is featured in, after double featuring it with Dangerous Liaisons. This is kind of a weird performance. The melody is out of the girls' range so they're doing weird things to id. Plus, this song is all about the strings, isn't it? WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE BLUEGRASS SLIDES DONE THRICE AT THE END? That was bizarre.
Y'all, I enjoyed the Blake Shelton/Adam Levine bromance package. Adorbs.
4. Hall and Oates are joined by Jermaine Paul, Chris Mann, and Tony Lucca on background vocals for "Rich Girl." YES. A good, mellow time was had by all.
5. Naia Kete, Sera Hill, Chessa, Kim Yarborough sing "Superstitous." This is kind of delightfully fun and sassy.
Omg, Ron Swanson has a The Voice chair to swivel away from working. Those NBC bastards knew that I would love a Parks and Rec tie-in.
6. Erin Willet, RaeLyn, Jamar Rogers, and Juliet Simms sings "A Little Help From My Friends." Guys, I did not miss RaeLynn and her weird affectations. Erin and Jamar, on the other hand, are solid performers.
7. Lady Antebellum is kind of irresistible. They know their niche (late night car rides thinking about the guy/girl in your life sort of music) and just run with it. I've never heard "Wanted You More," but it's essentially the same, guy side vs. girl side of the story, and harmonize at the chorus.
8. Jordis Unga and Tony Lucca are singing "Go Your Own Way." LOVE this song (to the shock of no one). I also love this pairing--two of my favorites of this season. Long haired guitarist from last night is back, soloing in the middle.
9. Justin Beiber is trying his hardest to be sexy with his new single "Boyfriend." I can't hear him over the sound of obnoxious screaming. Awww, he's so little. Why is he dancing with grown women?
THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON LONG. After having people re-explain what winning would mean to them.
4th Place: Chris Mann. (WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST OF CHRISTINA'S PANTS? Sorry, taken out of the moment.)
3rd Place: Tony Lucca. (Love you, boo!)
2nd Place: Juliet Simms (Bummer!)
Winner: Jermaine Paul (Well, congratulations to him. He seems like a nice guy.)
And of course Jermaine Paul is singing "I Believe I Can Fly." Hilarious and kind of sweet.