Two unfinishable films

There's a momentum to movies, a momentum that if lost bears the movies unfinishable. This happened to me twice in the last few weeks. I stepped away, paused the movie, and then decided they couldn't be finished. This is a pretty huge occurrence. I almost always finish movie to a fault. But let's be honest, I'm pretty sure I'll never regret not finishing Green Lantern and Water for Elephants.

And what is with this fish guy's rib cage?

Green Lantern seemed to sap all charisma out of Ryan "charisma is what I bring to the table" Reynolds during its paint-by-numbers origin. I've said it several times, I'll say it for eternity: superhero origin stories are boring. Like, I realize every does a superhero nowadays, but they could at least sometimes be interesting. Please? Plus, the premise of will/green vs. fear/yellow comes off as obtuse on film. And why does every speak English in space if Reyrey is the first human on the Green Lantern team? And why is Blake Lively cast in everything? Guess I'll never know because I walked away.

Honestly, the elephant was probably the most compelling character in the film.

Water for Elephants proved that Robert Pattinson is pretty good looking when he's not wearing 10 pounds of pale white foundation. Reese Witherspoon's costumes were pretty, and Christoph Waltz is a good creepy man. Too bad it was mostly bland, although not terrible. Mostly, the movie got paused, and my g-friend and I decided life coaching each other was a better idea than finishing the movie.

So tell me friends, what movies have been unfinishable for you lately?


  1. Mostly I just wanted to plug for "Water for Elephants" because I loved it and think you should give it another go. But in the Reese Witherspoon vein, did you see "How Do You Know"? I love Reese, Paul, and Owen, and I usually always finish movies, but I could not get through it. I just couldn't make myself care about the characters or the plot enough.

  2. Maybe I'll revisit Water for Elephants someday. And thanks for the tip about "How Do You Know." Such a waste of good actors!

  3. I haven't seen Water for Elephants, but I picked up the book a couple of years ago at a thrift store and liked it, particularly for all the bootleg-liquor/hobo/circus train-hoppingness parts. I do not watch superhero movies. They are stupid.

    We often try to watch movies on the Lifetime Movie Network, which are about 50/50 unwatchable or totally hilarious. I recently vetoed a '90s classic starring teenage Candice Cameron with Fred Savage as her abusive wrestler boyfriend after about 10 minutes because it was just painful without the laughs. Alternatively, Rob Lowe as Drew Peterson was kind of magnificent.

  4. Surprisingly, I finished the Green Lantern, but I'll admit that it was just sort of playing in the background while I was cleaning my room over Christmas break.

    As for unfinishable movies, I attempted to watch Transformers 1 this summer, but had to stop. Too many plot lines. Too many robots. Too much Megan Fox. Not enough reason to have both Shia LaBeouf and Josh Duhamel. Not enough emotion from the actors/robot voice overs. The whole thing was a bad Power Rangers episode.

  5. the aliens aren't speaking english in the Green Lantern. The ring translates everything he is hearing into english. I'm pretty sure this is mentioned when he first gets to the magic planet or whatever.

  6. Allen: Aaah, that makes sense in a superhero movie sort of way. Clearly, I was paying the utmost attention.

  7. I could have gone without finishing Water for Elephants too. It was pretty but that's about all it had going for it.