Live commentarying The Voice: Finale 5/8/2012

I'm too lazy to recap anything but performances, so, deal with it.

Oh what was that? A performance over 10 minutes in?

1. Pip, Jamar Rogers, James Missoni, and Jermaine Paul sing the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back." They look good in gold jackets, have I told you that? This is an adorable performance. Why doesn't The Voice do more awesome group performances that blend teams?

2. Juliet Simms helps out Flo Rida sing "Wild Ones." It should go without saying, but the chorus is the best part of this song and Juliet does it well. Flo Rida makes music for jump ropers, essentially, he's so boring and consistent with the beat.

3. Chris Mann, Lindsey Pavao, and Katrina Parker sing "Bittersweet Symphony." Hello, 1999! I really meant to do a blog post talking about Cruel Intentions, the film this song is featured in, after double featuring it with Dangerous Liaisons. This is kind of a weird performance. The melody is out of the girls' range so they're doing weird things to id. Plus, this song is all about the strings, isn't it? WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE BLUEGRASS SLIDES DONE THRICE AT THE END? That was bizarre.

Y'all, I enjoyed the Blake Shelton/Adam Levine bromance package. Adorbs.

4. Hall and Oates are joined by Jermaine Paul, Chris Mann, and Tony Lucca on background vocals for "Rich Girl." YES. A good, mellow time was had by all.

5. Naia Kete, Sera Hill, Chessa, Kim Yarborough sing "Superstitous." This is kind of delightfully fun and sassy.

Omg, Ron Swanson has a The Voice chair to swivel away from working. Those NBC bastards knew that I would love a Parks and Rec tie-in.

6. Erin Willet, RaeLyn, Jamar Rogers, and Juliet Simms sings "A Little Help From My Friends." Guys, I did not miss RaeLynn and her weird affectations. Erin and Jamar, on the other hand, are solid performers.

7. Lady Antebellum is kind of irresistible. They know their niche (late night car rides thinking about the guy/girl in your life sort of music) and just run with it. I've never heard "Wanted You More," but it's essentially the same, guy side vs. girl side of the story, and harmonize at the chorus.

8. Jordis Unga and Tony Lucca are singing "Go Your Own Way." LOVE this song (to the shock of no one). I also love this pairing--two of my favorites of this season. Long haired guitarist from last night is back, soloing in the middle.

9. Justin Beiber is trying his hardest to be sexy with his new single "Boyfriend." I can't hear him over the sound of obnoxious screaming. Awww, he's so little. Why is he dancing with grown women?

THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON LONG. After having people re-explain what winning would mean to them.

4th Place: Chris Mann. (WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST OF CHRISTINA'S PANTS? Sorry, taken out of the moment.)
3rd Place: Tony Lucca. (Love you, boo!)
2nd Place: Juliet Simms (Bummer!)
Winner: Jermaine Paul (Well, congratulations to him. He seems like a nice guy.)


And of course Jermaine Paul is singing "I Believe I Can Fly." Hilarious and kind of sweet.


Fin.

Live commentarying The Voice: 5/7/2012

Last performance episode, y'all. Who's ready for some hyperbole and oversinging?

It was a good night for Josh Groban covers.

1. Team Blake: Jermaine Paul is singing R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly." I think we can all agree that just about any other song from R. Kelly's oeuvre would have been less cringeworthy. This song is "My Heart Will Go On" levels of I can't take it seriously. Jermaine probably sounds the best he has all season because his oversinging really only makes sense in a gospel choir setting.

2. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms sings her thank you to Cee Lo by singing "Crazy" from his Gnarls Barkley days. Juliet gives it a good go, but let's be honest, that song was only interesting because Cee Lo's voice is so unique.


3. Team Christina: Chris Mann and Christina Aguilera sing "The Prayer." Damn, it's like 9th grade choir all over again. Guys, I like Christina's voice when she isn't Christina-ing (by which I mean, actually singing the melody and not just belting), and Chris Mann's voice is powerful enough to be a good balance to her powerhouse voice.

4. Team Adam: Tony Lucca is singing "99 Problems" by Jay-Z and more specifically Hugo's cover of it. Let's not pretend this is an original take on the song, no matter how much I love him. Although there is someone playing a washboard on the stage. Also, he's self-censoring by omission and slurring "Bitch". He's pulling it off though. So. There you go.

5. Team Christina: Chris Mann is tributing Christina with "The Voice Within." Such a cheesy song, but it's well written and Chris, as always, is impeccable.

6. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms and Cee Lo sing "Born to Be Wild." Honestly, nothing can top the time my friend sang this at a church karaoke activity and ended up writhing on the floor.

7. Team Adam: Tony Lucca and Adam sing the Beatles' "Yesterday." Very pretty harmonies, boys.

8. Team Blake: Jermaine Paul sings Blake's "God Gave Me You." Country music is so precious. Can't lie, this is one of my favorite songs Jermaine has sung this competition.

9. Team Christina: Chris Mann sings Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up." There's a woman signing the lyrics. HOW IS HE NOT AT A HIGH SCHOOL CHOIR CONCERT CIRCA 2004? OH WAIT, THE CHOIR IS THERE WITH HIM. Solid performance, Chris. This is strangely moving for how cornball/predictable it is.

10. Team Blake: Jermaine Paul and Blake are singing "Soul Man." They are adorably tall together. This may be my fovorite duet of the night. They look like they're having fun, and they pull off each other well.

11. Team Adam: Tony Lucca sings his tribute to Adam, "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5. Someone in the studio is rocking an organ, FYI. He recovers from forgetting the lyrics well, and since no one knows the lyrics of this song, it's cool.

12. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms sings Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird." Of course. It seems appropriate that this is the last song of the night. It's an end of set sort of song, and Juliet has the voice to deliver. Also, one of the guitarists in the band gets his shot of glory standing on a smoky wind machine. Juliet is such a delight.

Well friends, it was a good night for everyone, actually. I would love for Juliet or Tony to take the top spot just because I find them to be more interesting performers and fit my preference for earthy singers.

What are you guys hoping for?

Live commentarying The Voice: Eliminations 5/2/2012

ELIMINATIONS! And a butt-ton of performances.

Sometimes I like to remember that Cyndi Lauper had fantastic chemistry with Jeff Goldblume in Vibes. Especially during elimination episodes that are 90% filler.

Last year's Dia Frampton is up first singing dressed like Jess Day. For some reason Kid Cudi is involved with this. That was inoffensive.

Team Christina is up for eliminations first. Chris Mann makes it into the finals. I have to say I'm surprised, but good for him. He's got a great voice. Bye, Lindsey! You were alright.

Vicci Martinez and Cee Lo are a fun combination. Cee Lo overall is a very giving performer. I forgot what a cool voice Vicci has.

Team Adam eliminations next. Tony Lucca gets into the finals! Yay! Katrina, who I think has a really great voice leaves.

Beverly McClellan and Cyndi Lauper (what?) are singing "Money Changes Everything." (Oh hey, I paid enough attention to catch the name of this song.) Boring song.

Last year's winner Javier Colon sings "A Drop in the Ocean." There's nothing like 4 unfamiliar pop songs to make me realize how formulaic pop songs are. Javier's voice is still like honey.

Team Boring Blake is up next. Jermaine Paul makes it into the finals. YAWN. Erin seems like a lovely person, and I'm kind of bummed she's leaving. She at least used dynamics.

Team Cee Lo is last. JULIET SIMMS! I'm so excited. She's a really cool chick with an awesome gritty voice. Jamar, you're a class act.

I'm glad Tony and Juliet made it into the finals. What are your reactions?

Live commentarying The Voice: 4/30/2012

Well folks, it's the semi-finals, and Christina Aguilera is wearing a crown. Of course.

Simply Red, obviously.

1. Team Adam: Tony Lucca is singing "How Do You Like Me Now" by the Heavy. Soul-licious. Well, this is rather sexy. I like that he busted out some blue-eyed soul dance moves to match his voice. Loving it. He sounds great. Tony blends quality vocals with performance.

2. Team Blake: Erin Willett is singing David Guetta and Usher's "Without You." Hate to say it, but Erin sounds off her game. Also, they took out the best parts of the song, the beat and the synthesizer. Not my favorite.

3. Team Christina: Chris Mann sings "Ave Maria." Christina is the anti-creative. Chris's voice sounds lovely and pure.

4. Team Cee Lo: Jamar Rogers is singing "If You Don't Know Me By Now" by everyone ever, but I'd like to hat tip Simply Red. He messes with the rhythm which makes this song sound much fresher than it should. His voice sounds great as usual. Not blown away by the performance, though.

Team Adam and Team Cee Lo team up for "All of These Things That I've Done" by the Killers. These four are quality enough singers to make this an enjoyable performance. I'm pretty fond of all four of these kids, personally.

5. Team Blake: Jermaine Paul is singing Journey's "Open Arms."  This is the most sincere Jermaine has sounded all season. It has something to do with not running the melody all over the place. Until verse 2. Barf. This is not my style.

6. Team Adam: Katrina Parker sings "Killing Me Softly With His Song" by Roberta Flack/The Fugees. It sounds good and soulful. Consistent with her past work.

Blake Shelton's new song "Over" sounds like another quality "driving home late at night" sort of song.

7. Team Christina: Lindsey Pavao is singing "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver. Seems my Birdy comparison last week was apropos. At least this version doesn't strip the song of any rhythm or forward movement. I'll confess Lindsey has grown on me. I don't mind the girl, now that she seems more comfortable on stage.

Team Christina and Team Blake sing Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." Poor Lindsey Pavao's voice doesn't match these other singers or this song very well. Their harmonies sound pretty good on the chorus, so whatever.

8. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms sings James Brown's "It's a Man's World." Juliet kills it. Her affectations, grit, and embellishments fit the lyrics. Love her. She's the coolest.

Conclusion: I would love it if Tony Lucca and Juliet Simms made it to the finals. Who do you want to see in the final 4?

Random comment:
1. Why does Christina have to mention that she sang every song all the contestants sang? I really thought I would like Christina this season, but she has failed me so hard.

Live commentarying The Voice: Eliminations 4/24/2012

Even more eliminations tonight, folks!

This picture of Tony Lucca and Carson Daly is incredibly awkward. The end.

First point, I think we can all agree Florence + the Machine is a vast improvement on musical guests this season.

Team Adam:
Saved: Tony Lucca (I am pleased with this choice.)
Up for elimination: Katrina Parker and Mathai

Performances:

• Mathai sings Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova." Real talk: I love this song. It's an interesting choice for Mathai. I don't hate it, but I'm not a big fan of her affectations.
• Katrina sings Pink's absolutely awful "Perfect." Her voice sounds good. I also like how glammed out this girl is. This song is boring, but she should stay in the competition.

Adam chooses Katrina to stay in the competition after rambling on for a really long time. This is why my Pinterest account gets so much use. I think he made a good decision. Katrina is a class act. Mathai needs to polish up a little more.

Team Cee Lo:
Saved: Jamar Rogers (I'll accept it.)
Up for elimination: Juliet Simms and Cheesa

Performances:

• Cheesa sings "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. Can someone please sing something that I don't loathe? Anyway, Cheesa sounds okay, but she's a little flat and isn't really selling the song to me.
• Juliet Simms sings Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn." Yep, I hate this song, too. It's fun to hear Juliet sing something so girly and she sounds spectacular. Her gritty voice makes the song much more meaningful than it usually does. I also like that she can control her voice enough to yell at the audience a little bit.

Cee Lo preaches some weird crap. The credits Wrap-It-Up-Box him, and he chooses Juliet. Well chosen, sir. This has turned out a lot better than last week's embarrassment. 

Random comments:

1. Christina gives terrible advice to Juliet. Singing loud all the time isn't a thing that works. Not even for her. That's some ANTM-level non-critique.

Live commentarying The Voice: 4/23/2012

Team Adam and Team Cee Lo are up tonight. Let's hope they don't screw it up like Blake and Christina last week and eliminate their best team members.

Sometimes I forget how much I love Billy Joel's music. This is not one of those nights.

1. Team Cee Lo: Jamar Rogers is singing "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. What a terrible song. I really like Jamar, and he consistently kills as performances. He also embellishes melodies in a classy way that doesn't make me want to stab myself in the throat. Too bad this song is still boring.

2. Team Adam: Katrina Parker sings Christina Perri's awful "Jar of Hearts." Katrina's voice is beautiful, and her delivery is pretty perfect. Well done, girl. I almost like this song.

3. Team Adam: Mathai performs "I Am Like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado. Omg, what? I don't like how Mathai doesn't trust her naturally good tone to sell the song. She starts embellishing weirdly, namely by going flat and pronouncing words oddly. And then jumps around. She'd be good if she calmed things down a bit.

4. Team Cee Lo: James Missoni is singing Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are." Cee Lo knows what he's doing. This is just some straight up teen heartthrob shit without any hint of irony. AND A FREAKING SAXOPHONE. I cannot handle how much I love this performance. His voice is simple and immature in a great way.

5. Team Adam: Tony Lucca sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears. J'adore. He brings out the darkness of the song that got lost in Britney's bubblegum version. It's a well written song, what can I say? Tony may be my favorite of the season. He knows his voice and uses it well.

6. Team Cee Lo: Cheesa is up next singing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing." I love how husky Cheesa's voice is. It's like Sade singing a power ballad. The key change was a little rough, but she's holds it together.

7. Team Adam: Pip is up next singing "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. I guess we're staying with the vanilla rock of the early 2000s for Pip. Once he gets going, he gets on pitch, and his falsetto is heavenly. Uuuh, he gets worse as he keeps going. Trying harder in this case meant sucking harder.

8. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms sings "Crying" by Aerosmith. I keep meaning to sing this song at karaoke, and then I get it confused with "Crazy." SHE'S WEARING WINGS! Amusing. In terms of her voice, she sounds 60s/70s rock fabulous as usual. I adore this woman. She's the perfect blend of Emma Stone and the Black Crowes.

Instant Eliminationz
Team Cee Lo: Cee Lo eliminates James. Awwww. He's such a pleasure to watch, and I'll miss his gentle voice.

Team Adam: Half of this team could go, and I wouldn't care. Adam ends up eliminating Pip. Well done. Pip was clearly the worst of the night, even if he has cute dimples.

What were your favorites of the night?

Random comments:
1. Oh. Carson Daly must have gotten new emotion software installed. He almost looks enthusiastic when introducing Team Cee Lo singing "Dancing in the Street." This musical number is pretty adorable and fun.
2. Goodie Mob is serving up some Earth, Wine, and Fire realness with their costumes.
3. How useless are these Twitter breaks. They make me feel really awkward.
4. I love Cee Lo's "real women don't use autotune" rant.
5. I love that Blake confesses to basically being an alcoholic.
6. John Lennon's "Instant Karma" is a delightful choice of song. Also, it delights me to see Adam on the drums. Also, Tony Lucca has my heart. The end.

Live commentarying The Voice: Eliminations 4/17/2012

Oh hey, guys. I'm in the middle of experimenting with my TV, but it looks like I can actually get digital channels. I have no idea what happened in the first 10 minutes of the show. I'll probably be flipping to this in between New Girl if I can find Fox (UPDATE: found it too late).

This is how I felt about half of this episode.

Team Christina:
Saved: Chris Mann. That's kind of unexpected given his his classical voice.
Performing: Ashley De La Rosa and Lindsey Pavao

Ashley De La Rosa perform's Lady Gaga's "You and I." Love her song choices. She's got a great voice, is consistently on-pitch,  and she's adorable. Ashley's quickly becoming my favorite.

Lindsey Pavao sings "Please Don't Go" by Mike Posner(!). Lindsey's like the American Birdy. People think doing the same thing to popular songs (namely, slowing them down) makes them brilliant. This ends up being spectral wailing as she starts crying at the end. She's seems pretty cool, but I like Ashley better.

Lindsey Pavao is saved. Sad to see Ashley go! After this elimination and Jordis's, I have no hope for the future.

Team Blake:
Saved: Jermaine Paul (Fine, but he better pick better songs from here on out).
Performing: RaeLynn and Erin Willett


Erin Willett sings Ike and Tina's "Proud Mary." This is one of those songs that the really drunk girl at karaoke always sings. Erin is better than that girl. I would however like more (any) fringe.


RaeLynn performs "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry. I just want her to get all her stylistic touches in check because it distracts from the overall song.


Blake chooses Erin. Poor dude had about 2 seconds to choose, but I think he did well. Poor little RaeLynn looks sad.

Well folks, what do you think?

Other stuff:
1. Justin Bieber takes the stage, and this is the worst. Except I really can't hate the kid. Have you seen the "Call Me Maybe" video? World premiere of a clip of Justin Bieber's video "Boyfriend." What the...? Wrap it up box needed.
2. Adam talked about curbing RaeLynn's embellishments (Boyfriend Coach Status).

Live commentarying The Voice: 4/16/2012

Quarterfinals part 1, guys. Who else is less than thrilled at this season? Blah, blah, blah there will be somebody instantly eliminated tonight. That's lame sauce. Let's jam.

Adam Levine being not creepy.

1. Team Blake: RaeLynn is up first, and she's singing "She's Country" by Jason Aldean. I like her a little better this week. This song works for her ridiculous, over-blown country style. That said, what the hell is she singing? She just makes random vowel sounds that vaguely sound like singing. Not my favorite.

2. Team Christina: Jesse Campbell sings Beyonce's "Halo." BORING. Beyonce rarely has good song writers, and I kind of hate this song. I like that Jesse can actually reach those lower notes in his range (looking at you, RaeLynn). I love this man's voice despite the song. However, he's forced to showboat to make anything interesting happen.

3. Team Blake: Jordis Unga sings "Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans. I like this girl's voice. It's pure and straight forward without being weak. Really solid performance that makes emotional sense.

4. Team Christina: Ashley De La Rosa sings "Foolish Games" by Jewel, but rock style. I'm still not ready to revisit Jewel, I don't care how you rework it. Ashley has a very capable voice that plays with dynamics well. I would love to see her continue.

5. Team Blake: Erin Willet sings Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain." STOP IT WITH THE ADELE, GUYS. HER MUSIC'S TOO UBIQUITOUS TO MAKE THESE PERFORMANCES INTERESTING. Erin doesn't sound as solid as she usually does. She's consistently off-pitch, and it's a bit painful. Also, I hate this song.

6. Team Christina: Lindsey Pavao ends up singing "Part of Me" by Katy Perry. Huh. Christina keeps choosing really boring music for her team. Lindsey Lindseys the song by slowing it down and making it as morose as possible. This is what Paramore/Evanescence has wrought. However, it's working for me.

7. Team Blake: Mr. Jermaine Paul sings "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. God, I love this song. His voice is butter, but I wish he would have kept it simpler at the beginning because the melody kind of speaks for itself. It's a perfect pop song; the only thing a singer should need to do is stay on pitch. The runs ring false, and I want to punch his vocal folds.

8. Team Christina: Chris Mann is singing "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. CHRISTINA, what is wrong with you? This song only works because of the strings and the tempo. It's not an interesting vocal line. Bless, Chris Mann, though. He's doing his best, and I kind of like this performance despite myself. As usual, he sounds great, and we even get a smile out of him.

Instant Eliminations:
Team Christina: Christina eliminates Jesse. Frowny face. The silence in the auditorium is so haunting. He's a classy loser, even though he was one of the most consistent performers of the competition.

Team Blake: Blake ends up eliminating Jordis in order to go with America's voice a couple weeks ago. What the hell??? Adam's head shake says it all. Team Blake just became incredibly weak.

Random comments/other performances:
1. Christina decides to sing a little country and flower Blake with "male strippers." It delights me. Christina's outfit however does not.

2. Team Christina's performance of "Fighter" is way better than the past musical group performances. The team actually gets to participate in a substantial way. And I have to say the high school choir was kind of awesome, too.

3. Maroon 5 and Wiz Khalifa perform "Payphone." I'm curious where this payphone was found. In the year 2012. Then again, this could have come out 10 years ago when there were still intact payphones since it sounds like the neutered, mid-tempo rock prevalent in the early 2000s. Love the self-bleeping and Wiz Khalifa's hat, the rest is boring.

4. I love Christina's bitchface when she compliments everything but the actual voice of a contestant.

5. Boyfriend Adam emerges again, as he pinpoints mediocre performances and over-embellishments.

6. Team Blake perform "Heartache Tonight." Oh, Eagles. RaeLynn's voice almost entirely a result of her moving her head and contorting her mouth in awkward directions. I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T LIKE HER. And compared to the other performers, she seems really immature and trying too hard. Am I being a jerk now? She's really pretty...

Live Commentarying The Voice: Eliminations 4/10/2012

YOU GUYS, JESSIE J IS PERFORMING. Oh wait, she's the worst, and Team Christina isn't contributing much to the song. Get it together, producers, and make the teams actually contribute something or don't do anything at all. Arsenio Hall liked it thought, so, whatever. Let's get to the eliminations.

Where can I get that jacket, Arsenio?

Team Adam
Saved: Mathai (I'll take it), Tony Lucca (yay!), and Pip (well okay, he is an adorable person).
In danger: Kim Yarbrough, Karla Davis, and Katrina Parker.

Performances for Team Adam:

• Kim Yarbrough sings "Spotlight" by Jennifer Hudson. She's pretty off-pitch this performance and the rambling melody isn't doing her any favors.
• Karla Davis sings Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me." This song is more intimate and suited to her voice than last night's debacle. I like it.
• Speaking of the 90s, Katrina Parker sings "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. I think I'm incapable of liking this song because I've simply heard it too many times. She's pretty solid, but Karla may have won my heart based on song choice.

Results: Adam goes with Katrina. I'll take it. She's a more consistent performer.

Team Cee Lo

Saved: Juliet Simms (cool, cool cool cool), Jamar Rogers (yay!), James Massone (yessssss!)

In danger: Chessa, Tony Vincent, and Erin "I hope she finally leaves" Martin

Performances for Team Cee Lo:

• Tony "Can't undo the Broadway in his voice" Vincent sings "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by the Eurythmics. At least it captures his creepy vibe. Still not a fan.
• Cheesa singing "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. Love this song, and I may need to sing it to myself later tonight. She hits the key change well, and it makes me forgive the overuse of growling.
• Erin Martin butchers "Your Song" by Elton John. Is anyone else convinced that she forces a cartoon voice for singing? It's distracting and poorly executed. I hate everything.

Results: Cee Lo's heart says Cheesa and I approve. She's the only one I liked tonight. At least Erin is finally gone!

Random Comments:

1. My sister-in-law Facebooked me about Cee Lo's shirt a couple nights ago. It is just as ruffly and awesome as I could ever have imagined for a tuxedo shirt.

2. Good decisions all around, well done America and judges.

Live commentarying The Voice: 4/9/2012

Blah blah blah, I'm lazy and also without live TV because as a member of the millennial generation, I recognize it's inevitable death due to the internet. Also, I'm cheap. So, after a power nap after a long day of pretending to do something at my new job, I'm going to offer some commentary for a live show with voting that I'm not participating in.

Team Adam and Team Cee Lo are up this episode, so let's get it started.

1. Team Adam: Katrina Parker is up first singing "Tonight, Tonight" by The Smashing Pumpkins. Interesting, this works for me, probably because it's not a beyond nasally voice (sorry, Billy Corgan, I really do like your vocals). I really like her voice, it's pure and soulful, and slightly Adele-like without the sad-sack attitude.

2. Team Cee Lo: Cheesa is singing "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston. Great song choice. This isn't a life changing performance, but it's a lot of fun, and Chessa's voice meets the demands of the song managing to dance a little, too.

3. Team Adam: Adorable Tony Lucca is singing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel. Sexy. He adapts the melody to cut out most of the falsetto, which was probably a good idea given his vocal range. He sounds pretty great and kind of looks like Peter Gabriel. Also this is one of my all-time favorite songs (Adam and I are twinsies!). The only way to make it better would be more vaguely tribal dancers.

4. Team Adam: Kim Yarbrough "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele. I could do without hearing this song again for several years, however, Kim has a kickass voice and sounds pretty good. I also like that she amps up the anger factor of this song, although this song is too ubiquitous for me to care about.

5. Team Cee Lo: James Massone "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones. Adorable and interesting take on the song. This kids is so charming even if his voice isn't spectacular, although boy band-R&B fabulous. Honestly, this is probably my favorite performance of the night, although the soundmixing could do without miking all those girls screaming.

6. Team Cee Lo: Juliet Simms is up next singing "Roxanne" by the Police. Oh, so this is what the song sounds like when the singer can actually hit the notes (sorry, Sting). It sounds awesome, and I like the soul. Definitely another favorite. Team Cee Lo is owning this night.

7. Team Adam: Mathai is singing "Ordinary People" by John Legend. She's super cute, and manages to give enough soul to the performance to make it work. Maybe a little too smiley?

8. Team Cee Lo: Mr. Tony Vincent is next in a snappy suit singing "Everybody Want to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears. I always thought the real star of this song was the synthesizer. Again, I'm not a big fan of Tony's musical theater style of singing. He sounds better on the bridge when he manages to get gritty, albeit in the most Broadway way possible.

9. Team Adam: Darling Karla Davis is singing "Airplanes" by B.O.B. As long as she doesn't pronounce "stars" like "steeee-ars" than it's an improvement on the original song. I'm not sure this is the right song song for her voice. She's a little too airy and gentle for this song. I like her voice, but it doesn't fit this pop style until the end.

10. Team Cee Lo: the worst ever, Erin Martin, is next singing "Walk Like an Egyptian" by the Bangles. Erin can't even hit the low notes. This is such an amateur hour performance.

11. Team Adam: Pip is singing "When You Were Young" by the Killers. Blandy McBland song. There's a reason why this is one of the easiest songs on Rock Band. Awww, but he sounds good. I'm kind of in love with this kid. I find his attempts to be edgy to be cute, although ultimately unsuccessful.

12. Team Cee Lo: Last is Jamar Rogers singing "Are You Gonna Go My Way" by Lenny Kravitz. Can someone please pull off a rock song today? He's doing well. He has a enough confidence and grit to sound good. One of the best of the night.

Did you guys watch this episode in a timely manner? Any favorites?

Live Commentarying The Voice: Eliminations 4/3/2012

Soooo, The Voice  went full So You Thing You Can Dance and had the bottom three of each team Sing For Their Lives. I'd rather they lip-sync for their lives, but, whatever. Apparently they missed the memo that no one likes long elimination episodes. Is that just me?

Adorable.

Gym Class Heroes are performing "Ass Back Home" with Neon Hitch and Team Adam. I still find Gym Class Heroes to be the worst part of all their songs, although Neon Hitches shoulder pad wings are pretty bad, too. And um, Team Adam joined in on the "ohs". Oh.

Team Blake is up for eliminations first.
Saved: Erin Willett (yay!), Jermaine Paul (even with a crappy song!), and RaeLynn (seriously?)
In danger: Naia Kete, Charlotte Sometimes, and Jordis Unga

Performances for Team Blake:

• Naia Kete sings "If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce. Her lower range is sketchy, and she's flat on the higher notes. It's a little painful.
• Charlotte Sometimes sings "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Well, this is a Debbie Downer/Alanis Morrisette version of this song. At least she's on-pitch.
• Jordis Unga sings "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones. Or the Sundays, if you're feeling like bringing back the 90s. 2 lines in, she's already owned the other two up for elimination from team Blake. This is a beautiful rendition of this song.

BLAKE GOES WITH JORDIS AND THE WORLD REJOICE FOR A GOOD DECISION. Ahem. Sorry. After he kept RaeLynn in the Battle Rounds, I was afraid for him.

Team Christina is up for eliminations next.
Saved: Jesse Campbell (cool!), Lindsey Pavao (is it because she looks like Kristin Stewart, complete with lack of charisma and shifty eyes?), Chris Mann (I'll allow it.)
In Danger: Moses Stone, Sera Hill, and Ashley De La Rosa

• Ashley De La Rosa sings "Paris Ooh La La" by Grace Potter. Ashley is adorable and is owning the sassiness of this song. Her voice sounds great in gritty rock mode and she works the crowd.
• Sera Hill sings "Vision of Love" by Mariah Carey. This is a fairly straight forward performance of this song that sounds nice, but it's not really holding my interest.
• Moses Stone performs "Break Even (Falling to Pieces)" by The Script. Love this song despite myself. He sounds alright, except on the bridge, but his singing voices isn't that strong. At least he manages to hold my attention.

Christina goes with Ashley! Again, with the good choices, coaches.

I have to say, this elimination episode was much less painful than I thought it was going to be. If they make the musical performances at the beginning more interesting, they'll have my approval.

Random comments:
1. Blake Shelton is so down-home and awesome. Love.
2. Of course Team Christina has to be on Leno's show. Lame.
3. What the orange top is Christina wearing? At least her hair still looks good.
4. Cee Lo looks like Bowser with his red, studded, leather jacket.

Live commentarying The Voice: 4/2/2012

It's the live shows, folks, and another super long episode showing 2 coaches teams, Christina and Blake.



1. Team Blake: Jermaine Paul is up first, and he is one of the few people who can match Blake in height. He's singing "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. It's kind a terrible song choice. Jermaine sounds pretty good and reaches the high notes (mostly after the key change), but I can't not associate this song with karaoke.

Coaches:
Christina: Impressed that Jermaine worked the stage, and didn't see the connection to the song choice. (Agreed.)
Blake: Experiencing his dream or something.

2. Team Christina: opera singer Chris Mann is singing Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." I just watched a documentary about the making of Simon and Garfunkel's album Bridge Over Troubled Water and a lot of time was spent talking about just how awesome this song is. I think Chris is doing well and sounsd comfortable and controlled, even though I typically don't like operatic voices. He manages to squeeze in a few trills to make it more modern.

Coaches:
Cee Lo: Wonderful performance. Really enjoyed that.
Adam: Can't get over Cee Lo's outfit. Was great, subverted his voice's genre.
Christina: So beautiful and heartfelt. Owned the song and ad libbed trills successfully.

3. Team Blake: RaeLynn is next up singing. I thought she should have been kicked out during the battle rounds, so she better prove that she's actually good. She's countrifying "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5--zing! to Adam. RaeLynn is offbeat during the verse but catches up to the beat during the chorus. I still hate her pronunciation of words and her voice still sounds off-pitch and weak, no matter how gutteral she gets.

Coaches:
(RaeLynn hugs Adam)
Christina: Sassy little thing, was impressed and had stage presence. Talks about the man love between Adam and Blake.
Adam: Broke his heart when she did his song.
Blake: Represents the new sound of country. People talk to him about her. (Can someone explain to me why? She's all style and no technique.)

4. Team Christina: Moses Stone is singing "Stronger" and "Power" by Kanye West. For how much showmanship this performance shows off, Moses is holding his own with all the backup dancers. His vocals in singing and rapping worked, too. Fun!

Coaches:
Cee Lo: Song choices were good, appreciated his stage presence.
Adam: Knows how to entertain people. Getting honest, wants to hear more singing from Moses.
Blake: Christina already making a difference and hears improvement in singing vocals.
Christina: Moses makes her excited when performing. Christina burns people on the radio by saying he wasn't autotuned and still killed it. (Right? Christina is preaching to the choir for me today.)

5. Team Blake: Naia Kete is singing "Turning Tables" by Adele. She's not going reggae today, which is kind of a relief, although this song is cheesy as hell (which should be synonymous with Adele). Naia does much better than the battle rounds and shows off some high vocal range and the ability to squeeze her eyes shut during tender moments. Still don't know if I like her very much.

Coaches:
Christina: Thought it was cool, but there were some moments that weren't great.
Blake: Wanted her to prove that she's more than reggae. Tender moments were special.

6. Team Christina: Lindsey Pavao is up next. She's singing Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know." Lindsey sounds weak and flat. The arrangement is alright, but it just doesn't work for me. Mostly, Lindsey is visibly uncomfortable.

Coaches:
Adam: Dudes in the clown suits freaked him out. Loved the song, but missed the power that he feels from the chorus (AGREED).
Christina: Loves Lindsey's style and plugs her songs on iTunes.

7. Team Blake: Jordis Unga is going to sing "Alone" by Heart. Does well with the verse, but kills it at the chorus and the "AAAAAH" after the instrumental break which is the whole point of this song anyway. Good work!

Coaches:
Cee Lo: Overall good.
Blake: Opposite of playing it safe. Amazing.

8. Team Christina: Sera Hill is up next singing "Find Your Love" by Drake. Sera sounds a little nervous and she's flat on the high notes and sharp on the low notes. She looks comfortable on stage, though, in the midst of shirtless men.

Coaches:
Blake: Makes fun of the male strippers on the stage.
Christina: Sera looks gorgeous, she sounded phenomenal and looked like she belonged on the stage.

9. Team Blake: Erin Willett is singing Stevie Wonder's "Living for the City." Woah! Erin brought out the piano and dancers. I love this song though and Erin brings a lot of soul to the performances. She really sounds great.

Coaches:
Cee Lo: Under her circumstances (he dad just passed away) she did good. Great performance, he enjoyed it.
Blake: Best technically and passionately performance of the night. That's a fact. (I kind of agree.)

10. Team Christina: Ashley De La Rosa is singing "Right Through It" by Alanis Morissette. What's up, on-pitch performer! Well done. She sounds much more mature this round.

Coaches:
Adam: Most improved, given that's she's so young (17).
Christina: Really brought it and loved the song.

11. Team Blake: Charlotte Sometimes is up next singing "Misery Business" by Paramore. She still sounds like Lana Del Rey, although I hate Paramore's lead singer's voice most of the time, too. In all honesty, Charlotte sounds better than most of the other folks that sang tonight.

Coaches:
Adam: Great, was a unique voice. There was some flatness.
Christina: Surprised by her performance and dynamics. (Christina and I are two peas in a pod this episode.)
Blake: Made this arrangement, true artist with vision. Didn't hear flatness (I didn't really either. No worse than RaeLynn, that's for damn sure.)

12. Team Christina: Jesse Campbell is singing "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. Blame it on the song, but Jesse sounds like a really good burlesque show. His voice is golden and hits all the high notes with a beautifully pure tone.

Coaches:
Cee Lo: His voice is almost as beautiful as Cee Lo's (fake) hair. Would love Jesse to win if someone from his own team doesn't take it.
Adam: Jesse's the dude to beat.
Christina: He could sing the phone book and sound good. Christina rambles about being the only sober coach up there. (That went of the rails quickly).

Overall:
My favorites were Jordis, Erin, Ashley, and Jesse. How about you?

Random thoughts:
1. Cee Lo absorbed Christina's crazy by wearing fringe, sequins, and a wig. Christina looks relatively tame and toned down and instantly looks better.
2. Carson Daly is incredibly awkward. Still.
3. Christina Millian is such a waste of space just being there to plug Sprint and Twitter.
4. Betty White is adorable making a plug for her show and talking about how cute Blake is.
5. Christina's team always has interesting staging. Sometimes overwhelmingly so.

Live commentarying The Voice: 3/25/2012

Final Battles Round!

Least creepy Adam Levine picture?

1. Team Cee Lo: James and Wade are singing "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper. Nice song choice that makes Cee Lo cry during rehearsals. They're both fairly off-pitch at different points, especially during harmonies. I think Wade has better control of his voice, but James has a purer tone.

Judging:
Adam: Would go with James. His voice captured him.
Blake: Likes James' "merch."
Christina: Complimented Wade, but ultimately goes with James.
Cee Lo: James upped his confidence. Wade has inherent talent. Cee Lo goes with James! I'll take it if he keeps using Good Will Hunting quotes about "how you like them apples?" BOSTON.

2. Team Adam: Nicole Galyon and Mathai are singing "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles. Nicole is obsessed with the piano, but has to sing without it. Ugh, Mathai does that weird forced vibrato thing that only works if you're a seasoned ska singer. Nicole's voice sounds kind of weak on the higher notes. This is like mediocre karaoke and the harmonies are gross. Tears.

Judging:
Blake: Mathai had better breath support than Nicole.
Christina: Mathai outperformed Nicole.
Cee Lo: Nicole was generic, Mathai was a stronger singer.
Adam: Not happy with the performance in general. (Preach!) Mathai wins. Sure. I'll go with that.

3. Team Christina: Moses Stone vs. country duo The Line singing "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. Weird combination of hip-hop, country, and R&B?The Line's harmonies sound dissonant or something and are weirdly robotic. Moses might not be as good of a singer as he is an MC, but he's working the stage and is entertaining. The male half of The Line is working for me. I can't decide how I feel about the overall product of the song, it's so odd. I'd choose Moses if only because I'd like to see where this goes.

Judging:
Cee Lo: "My man, Moses" worked the stage, had personality. Group worked well together. Overall performance would go with Moses.
Adam: Unorthodox, but would go with The Line because they showed off their vocals more.
Blake: "That was pretty weird." Would go with The Line.
Christina: Diatribe about what "The Voice" means to her. Chooses Moses. Fun!

4. Team Adam: Karla Davis and Orlando Napier are singing "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates. HAHAHAHA. One of my all-time favorites. Woah, reboot! They're trying a different song. "Easy" by the Commodores. Well, then. Orlando delights my blue-eyed soul. I like the chorus incorporates both their voices without forcing ugly harmonies. Karla has a sweetness to her voices from a mixed-voice rather than belting, which is pleasant to listen to. I don't know who I would choose. They were both...mellow.

Judging:
Blake: Likes the sound of Karla's voice, but Orlando did a better overall performance.
Christina: Lackluster, but Karla was a little more entertaining.
Cee Lo: Liked BLUE-EYED SOUL of Orlando, would go with him.
Adam: Orlando has a very specific voice, Karla started to blossom. Winner is Karla. Cool, I'll take it.

5. Team Blake: Jordan Rager and Naia Kete are singing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours." This could be adorable. Youngster Jordan had me at "Come on, y'all." Naia sounds nervous, but comes out stronger during her verse. Overall, this is mediocre although well matched, but Jordan is adorable.

Judging:
Christina: Jordan had a solid performance, Naia had more of a natural groove, but "strayed off." Would go with Naia.
Cee Lo: Would have loved to see Jordan more confident. Naia was comfortable in this song and would choose her.
Adam: Applauds Jordan going out of his comfort zone. Would go with Naia.
Blake: Surprised that Naia was as nervous as she was and she missed notes. Jordan stepped up, but also had some pitch issues on the harmonies. Thought it was an even performance, but ends up choosing experienced Naia. I'LL MISS YOU, JORDAN.

6. Team Cee Lo: Tony Vincent and Justin Hopkins are singing Journey's "Faithfully." It's a power ballad-off. Tony has a very calculated break in his voice, and I much prefer Justin's gruff tone. However, this is an awesome performance, and it made me fall in love with this song again.

Judging:
Adam: Likes the dirty/passionate voice of Justin. Felt like Tony was there the whole time and put on a great performance. Would go with Justin.
Blake: Tony may be a bit more versatile, but Justin had a more solid performance.
Christina: Responded to Justin's strong voice, but would go with Tony's versatility.
Cee Lo: Talks about the meaning of the song. Tony is more adaptable and enigmatic and he likes that. Justin really impressed him with a natural voice. Goes with Tony. I think I'll be entertained, but I'll miss Justin and his beard.

See you next week!

Random comments:
1. Jewel reads these singers so well. The Line is totally a wedding band.
2. Can Robin Thicke narrate my life?
3. Jordan has as big a crush on Miranda Lambert as I do.
4. Is Tony Powder by way of Gerard Way?
5. Ne-Yo is still my favorite assistant coach.

Live Commentarying The Voice: 3/19/2012

It's been a busy last couple days, but I'm back. Let's check out week 3 of the the Battles.

Billy Ocean is clearly the winner from this episode.

1. Team Adam: Pip and Nathan Parrett are singing Amy Winehouse's "You Know I'm No Good." I can't believe there's a dude named Pip. In high school I knew a Pip who was smart, off-putting, wore dragon shirts, and loved Ayn Rand. This Pip seems personable and wears suspenders. I kind of want to box both of these guys up because they're adorable. I don't know who I want to win. Pip is a little more solid.

Judging:
Blake: Nathan has a big strong voice, but Pip can do anything.
Christina: Pip comes across of having done Broadway (Blake says it's his plaid pants), Nathan came across as nervous but commanded attnetion.
Cee Lo: Nathan came across as effortless cool and did Amy Winehouse proud. Nathan stole it for him.
Adam: Pip can do everything, Nathan was a refreshing surprise. Pip is the winner of the battle. I'll take it.

2. Team Cee Lo: Erin Martin vs. the Shields Brothers singing Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With It." This might be brilliant, but I'm guessing disaster because I didn't like either of them that much in the auditions. Erin is obnoxious during rehearsals and doesn't understand how to do something other than be pretty. Ugh, Erin's weird pronunciation of words is the worst ("react" "reaaaaiiiiiickkkktt," "love" = "loheiirrrve") and takes her off pitch. There's also some squealing, and she's trying way too hard. The boys are totally pulling focus by being awesome, on pitch, and power ballad emotive.

Judging:
Adam: That was so weird (agreed). Erin's crap takes her too far. The boys were having fun and he chooses them.
Blake: Glad Erin is wearing her leotard/garter thing and would choose her.
Christina: Bleeping loved it. Liked Erin's squeals and the boys' harmonies. Would go with Shields brothers.
Cee Lo: Afraid the Shields brothers could become gimmicky, and this song wasn't good for Erin. Goes with Erin. My soul dies. THE WORST.

3. Team Christina: Ashley De La Rosa and Jonathas will be singing "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. Puke at the song choice. This is a pretty solid duet. Their voices fit the song and they play off each other well. I could go either way.

Judging:
Cee Lo: Very nice on stage and they worked well together. Ashley showed off more of her range.
Adam: Both comfortable on stage and had chemistry. Might pick Ashley.
Blake: Jonathas stayed at the same level the whole song, but Ashley tried more things.
Christina: Seen Ashley grow a lot, Jonathas is a solid performer. Goes with Ashley. It'll be fun to see how she grows.

4. Team Blake: ALyX and Jermaine Paul are singing Billy Ocean's "Get Outta My Dreams and Into My Car." What the hell? Great choice, Blake. Love me some adult contemporary, and I love that Blake wants them to have fun. Hahahahahahaha this performance delights me. Jermaine is really selling the song to the audience. ALyX is keeping up, although she's a little flat and doesn't seem to realize how hilarious this song is.

Judging:
Christina: Jermaine made the song his own. ALyX gets a "great effort."
Cee Lo: Enjoyed his performance and confidence.
Adam: Jermaine took this song and kicked it's ass.
Blake: Compliments ALyX's confidence as well as Jermaine's. Jermaine wins!!! Yay! His voice is like butter.

5. Team Adam: Angel Taylor and Katrina Parker are singing "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. Again, bored face. Katrina comes in very strong and stays on pitch. Angel sounds, but isn't selling the song as well. Mostly, I'm very impressed by Katrina.

Judging:
Blake: Likes the break in Angel's voice, Katrina won this round. (Agree).
Christina: Liked the interesting rasp in Angel's voice. Liked that Katrina was a more multi-dimensional singer.
Cee Lo: Came alive in the second verse of the song. Katrina came in confident and stayed throughout.
Adam: (Adorable hiding in his cardigan.) Katrina had a lot power and command. Angle had uniqueness that was potent. Has to go with Katrina. Yay!

6. Team Blake: Gwen Sebastian and Erin Willett are singing "We Belong" by Pat Benatar. Great song choice, Blake. Already have goosebummps with Gwen's first verse. I love this song so much! They sound great on the chorus harmonies and perform well together. I don't know who I liked better since they were both good, just different styles.

Judging:
Christina: Liked Gwen's rasp and Erin's power. Gravitated more toward Erin.
Cee Lo: Again points out vocal differences. Would go with Gwen.
Adam: Liked the richness and warmth of Erin's voice, but thought both were fantastic.
Blake: Wished the performances weren't so good. He has a hard time choosing, but ends up going with Erin. I'll accept that.

Random comments:
1. Alanis Morisette and Adam Levine are proponents of staying faithful to a melody. LOVE.
2. I'm pretty sure Cee Lo just referenced Steve Winwood's "Valerie" in rehearsals.
3. Babyface calling the Shields Brothers Wayan's World makes my life.
4. Can Miranda Lambert be my best friend? She's so common sense.

Live-commentarying the Voice: 3/12/2012

Hey folks, in an effort to make this shorter and more readable, I'm just going to comment on the performances. Week 2 of the Battle Rounds!

Srsly.

1. Team Christina: Geoff McBride and Sera Hill are singing Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools." Christina isn't too original about song choices. This sounds like a wedding band cover of this song. They're both pretty solid, I'm not sure who's going to stay in the competition. The breakdown at the end was hideous.

Judging:
Cee Lo: Pleasantly surprised. Picks Geoff because he had more control vocally.
Blake: Indecisive, but going with Sera.
Adam: Leans toward Geoff because of his taking-off-the-glasses move.
Christina: Liked both of them, but she goes with Sera because of her runs and ad libs. Whatever.

2. Team Blake: Charlotte Sometimes and Lex Land will be singing "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People. CAN MARK FOSTER BE THERE? But seriously, that's random. The song works so well because of the strange, nasal vocals and echo effects. We'll see if it works in pure vocal performance. Charlotte has that obnoxious Lana-Del-Rey-scoop-voice-to-forced-vibrato thing that's weirdly popular these days. Lex works a breathy verse and brings it on the chorus. I would go with Lex.

Judging:
Christina: Liked Lex's sexy verse. Charlotte was sassy.
Cee Lo: Liked Charlotte's sexy, liked Lex's airy sexy. Would have gone with Charlotte.
Adam: Lex opened up as the song went on and would go with her.
Blake: Lex is surprising. Charlotte has what it takes to be a star. Charlotte wins. So bored by her style.

3. Team Cee Lo: Sarah Golden and Juliet Simms are up singing "Stay With Me" by Rod Stewart. Cee Lo remains my favorite song chooser. Their styles surprisingly blend well; there's only a fine line between rocker and folk singer. I feel like Sarah has the harder part with the lower harmonies--she's got a nice ear.

Judging:
Adam: Would definitely go with Juliet.
Blake: Complimented Sarah's harmonies and versatility.
Christina: Wasn't sure that the song did Sarah justice and would go with Juliet.
Cee Lo: Sarah got to show off her range. He goes with Juliet. (It was a tough call, and I appreciate anyone bringing Black Crowes realness.)

4. Team Adam: Whitney Myer and Kim Yarbrough are singing Mary J. Blige's "No More Drama." Can I just say how much I love Kim's wisdom? Kim has more of a command of her voice, but Whitney's got a lot of fight.

Judging:
Blake: Felt like he was watching Diva's Live. "Song of a bitch, man." Picks Carson.
Christina: Could not deny Kim's voice.
Cee Lo: Felt like the song fit Kim's more mature voice better.
Adam: Conflicted, but ultimately goes with Kim! I'm excited for her.

5. Team Christina: Lee Koch and Lindsey Pavao are going to sing "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana. This could be a disaster pairing. They both have that breathy, close-mouthed, permanently pronouncing "r" style that's a close cousin to the Lana Del Rey scoop. Think Feist. Lindsey is incapable of finding the melody, she's always in riff mode. Lee is staying closer to basics and is coming off better, although Lindsey sometimes happens upon some good moments.

Judging:
Cee Lo: Liked Lindsey's voice, Lee looks like Jesus. Thought it was a great performance overall.
Adam: Liked the creepiness. Picks Lee.
Blake: Doesn't know "Heart Shaped Box." ??? Would have picked Lindsey.
Christina: Put himself into the song. Loves Lindsey's tone. Goes with Lindsey and her inability to find a melody.

6. Team Cee Lo: Jamie Lono and Jamar Rogers are singing Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love Is." Cee Lo continues to win the song choice competition. Jamie is more entertaining, although Jamar's voice is smoother and overall stronger. Probably my favorite performance of the night, if only for the song choice.

Judging:
Adam: Jamie was in his zone, but lost it once it turned into a power ballad. Jamar owned the stage.
Blake: Loves Jamie's vibe.
Christina: Likes Jamie's tone, but song didn't fit him vocally. Jamar has a singer vein in his neck...so she chooses him.
Cee Lo: Ultimately goes with Jamar. Well chosen, Cee Lo. I'll miss Jamie's glasses.


Random comments:
1. Where can I get Cee Lo's silky sweat suit collection?
2. Can Ne-yo be everyone's coach? He's got great advice.
3. Robin Thicke's presence delights me to no end.
4. SO MUCH CRYING AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE.

Live-blogging The Voice: March 5, 2012

The Battle Rounds, y'all! The singers are competing against their own teammates. Half the teams (6 out of 12) will be eliminated after these rounds.


Team Adam:
Tony Lucca and Chris Cauley will be singing U2's "Beautiful Day." That's boring. Also, it reminds me of my sister and I yelling "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" in the chorus of that song because Bono is straight up singing out of his range that entire chorus.

Rehearsal:
The harmonies already making this song better.

Alanis Morisette is the adviser helping out Tony. Blah blah blah, integrity in being famous I guess. Hmmmm, Tony's yell of "DAAAAAY" is more musical than Bono even if he's not super comfortable in that range.

Yay! Robin Thicke is advising Chris. They talk about performing and body language.

Performance:
Even the opening notes remind me that I hate this song. Once Tony gets out of the lower range of the first verse, he becomes my favorite in this battle, even if the higher notes sound like they take more effort. Chris is doing well, too, I just prefer Tony. I just love an ex-Mousekateer. The dynamics of two voices really saved this song.

Judging:
Blake: Chris has more consistent pitch.

Christina: Pulling for former ex-mousekateer, but compliments Chris's vocals.

Cee Lo: Tony articulated the song better, although Chris was also good.

Adam: (He's wearing a nice cardigan.) Chris more theatrical. He had no idea it would be this close. (Why is carson holding their wrists). Adam picks Tony! Good choice. This is why Adam is my imaginary The Voice best friend.

Chris is a classy loser.

Team Blake
They're at some ranch. Adley Stump and Raelynn are up first, singing "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty. Blake likes the differences in their voices.

Rehearsal:
Raelynn is trying to put a lot of extra notes in there. Blake pulls her back. Adley sounds good.

Blake's wife Miranda Lambert is advising Raelynn. Miranda Lambert is flawless. Blake and Miranda are giving a lot of good advice about working with the voice she's got.

Kelly Clarkson is advising Adley. Adley is kind of charming. Kelly is a good cheerleader and talks about using a soft voice when harmonizing with Raelynn and still show off her big voice.

Product placement for Kia? With Miranda lambert's voice on the car's phone setting? Whatever, Adley's got great huge hair and Raelynn is keeping her soft curls. (In case you're wondering).

Performance:
RaeLynn is a bit off key at the beginning and is giving way too much styling. Adley comes in nice with the harmonies. RaeLynn has much more power on high notes and her style is very classy. She seems like the clear winner in this battle. RaeLynn just sounds as young as she is (17), although she's giving it her all.

Judging:
Christina: Compliments RaeLynn's guts, and Adley's lungs.

Cee Lo: Raelynn is adorable/youthful, has time to grow. Adley is present and more experienced. Adley is his choice.

Adam: Long notes difficult. Would go with RaeLynn because she's more unique. (False, that's a terrible critique).

Blake: Figuring out who was telling a good story. RaeLynn wins. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I guess she has more room to grow? Adley was a professional is classy on her way out.

Team Christina:
Chris Mann and Monique Benabou are matched up singing "The Power of Love" by Celine Dion. Chris is well-trained and operatic, Monique is pop-y and her speaking voice sounds thrashed.

Rehearsal:
Chris is keeping his classical voice. Monique has a hard time with reading music and harmonies. Luckily, Monique has some power behind her voice.

Lionel Richie is the adviser for Chris. He's a perfectionist and in his head. Cheerleading. Also, what the trash is Christina wearing?

Jewel is helping prepare Monique. They're trying to get her to relax and use her emotion to get an advantage over Chris.

Performance:
Monique is all breathy, Chris is all Vibrato City. The pronoun switching in the chorus in weird. My brother just stated that the TV sounds broken. Monique's voice fits the song better. The high note harmony has not gone well. They're close body language creep me out.

Judging:
Cee Lo: Monique sounded good, thinks Chris is one of the best.

Adam: Liked Chris initially.

Blake: Defends Monique's performance.

Christina: Chooses Chris. At least he was on-pitch!

Team CeeLo
Chessa and Angie Johnson are up first singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Lol.

Rehearsal:
Chessa makes them transpose up a half key. Then Angie was all, let's bring it up another half step.

Babyface (remember him?) is advising Chessa. Cee Lo wore his silk jammies today. This song is getting out of her range.

Angie is working with Ne-yo. I wish Ne-yo was singing with Angie; their harmonizing is delicious. He compliments her range of dynamics and vocal range. Can Ne-yo be on this show every week?

Performance:
I'm in love with this performance. They seem well matched. Their voices are almost too similar to differeniate, although Chessa is a little more gritty while Angie is more polished and capable of reaching the high notes. I might have to side with Angie.

Judging:
Adam: Both were powerful and great at different times. Maybe would go with Chessa.

Blake: Both ranged from average-great moments. Sides with Angie.

Christina: Good match. Chessa at the beginning, Angie toward the end. Sides with Angie.

Cee Lo: Proud of the gals. Chessa had articulation, Angie had emotion. Cee Lo goes with Chessa. I'm okay with that, although I'm bummed that Angie's out.

Team Blake
Blake chooses Brian Fuente and Jordis Unga to sing Alanis Morisette's "Ironic." Huh. Blake tries to do the "rock on" sign.

Rehearsal:
I really like the piano player. Jordis is going to have to "become" this song. Whatever that means.

Brian meets with Blake and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly makes him "commit" to the song. My brother is making me sing. He's nervous about singing with a girl and singing solo rather than in a band.

Jordis meets Miranda. She's super emotional, I guess.

Performance:
Jordis goes for the grit pretty early in the song. Brian sounds nice in the lower harmony. I really wish Brian was on pitch because I like his voice. He sounds better on the chorus. This was kind of a "meh" performance overall.

Judging:
Christina: Talks about "teaching moments" throughout the song. Goes with Jordis.

Cee Lo: Likes Brian's aggression, I guess.

Adam: Going with Jordis.

Blake: Didn't like either performance. (Truth). Goes with Jordis, which I guess makes sense.

Team Christina
He's pairing Anthony Evans and Jesse Campbell to sing "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys. It's a soul-off.

Rehearsal:
Lionel Richie is telling Jesse to "not outdo."

Anthony is working with Jewel. Jewel wants trills for emotion, not for vanity.

Performance:
Have we discussed the sparkly plate on Christina's head? Incredible. Anyway, this is a silky performance. I think I prefer Jesse's voice. It's a little more effortless. I'm loving this end-of-song breakdown. Tough choice.

Judging:
Cee Lo: Thoroughly impressed.

Adam: Mind blown. Would pick Jesse.

Blake: Loved the performance, might go with Jesse.

Christina: She ultimately picks Jesse. Well done.

See you next week!

The Voice recaps

Don't worry guys, I'm still going to recap The Voice, I just don't want to recap auditions. You still want a recap of auditions?

Back-story manipulation.
Christina being sassy and a little bit annoying.
Adam being good looking and manipulative.
Blake being the cutest.
Cee-Lo being chill and being overtly sexual.
Occasional heartbreaking rejection.
Lots of inter-judge fighting.
Tears. Lots of tears.
Hugs. So many hugs.

Mostly, I just like that the show doesn't put completely talentless singers up for mocking and is slightly more edgy than American Idol. It's the small things, really.

Anyway, there's at least a week or two left of auditions. Hopefully, I'll have a new laptop* by the time the competition heats up, and I can live/day-late blog for y'all.

*any recommendations? My lappy just died.

ETA: This Prince medley delights me more than words can say.

Live blogging the Voice: 6/29/11

I actually have time to do this now! Let's pretend none of us know who won last night.

Carson and Christina circa TRL years.

Lots of guest artists tonight. Let's just hope it creates some awkward musical moments. But only after watching the finalists on Jay Leno. Masturbatory NBC promotion that's taking way too long. Oh good, actually performances are next.

Vicci Martinez is up first. We get to relive her flat pitch moments in sepia tones. Also, her "war dance." She's performing "Drops of Jupitor" with Train's Pat Monahan. Can we talk about my hatred of Train? So bland. So over-played. So early 2000s faux-witty lines that include "soy latte." I am fully expecting Jenna Elfman to just appear somewhere on this stage. These two sound good, but I'm so bored. SIDE HUGZ. Cee Lo is waxing poetic about his love for Vicci. I'm distracted by the sequins stripes on his Adidas jacket.

TECH GIRL, YOU'RE THE WORST. APPARENTLY HER NAME IS ALLISON.

Javier Colon is next. He's talking about his kids. Is voice is amazing. He's tearing up. Adam Levine being hot. I'm okay with this video package. OMG HE'S SINGING "LANDSLIDE" WITH STEVIE NICKS. I love that Stevie Nicks looks like she was styled by the Wiccan Emporium circa 1996. Javier providing the upper harmonies to Stevie's melody line is lovely. They are sharing a double-hand-hold eye contact moment. And Christina just readjusted her boobs. On camera. Adam is tearing up about how beautiful the duet was and how awesome Stevie Nicks and "Landslide" is. This is why Adam Levine is my The Voice boyfriend.

Beverly McClellan is next. Something about how she's the "youngest at heart" in this competition. She's singing with One Republic's Ryan Tedder. Ugh. One Republic is the worst. It reminds me of my junior year of college--which already sucked, but then my roommates listened to that band on repeat. This song, "Good life," is really boring, and these to singing random "oh"s on top of each other is kind of the worst thing I've ever heard. Christina talking about how much she loves Beverly. She is also shouting out to the other judges and calling them the big brothers she never had. Talk about awkward timing.

Dia Frampton is last. And now I'm remembering that she wore denim, skinny jeans overalls to the auditions. Blake is comparing her to his wife Miranda Lambert. Except Miranda Lambert is the awesomest and Dia is not so much. Miranda is killing her song "The House that Built Me", while Dia is breathing the song, Donna Lewis style. Gross. They sound pretty good harmonizing, though, mostly because Miranda is holding things together. Dia just doesn't suit country music. Blake is a bit emotional, and is declaring Dia as family. Carson Daly may or may not have wiped away a tear.

Can we just talk about this coach-singer relationship? It's kind of adorable. Except Christina is probably the least helpful of the coaches and comes off as a bit showy in her affection. Anyway, it's a nice element to the show.

Okay, the results. Apparently the top two were within 2% of each other. Adam is clutching his desk thing for dear life. Dia is in the top two. So is Javier. Javier is #2 on iTunes and Dia is #1. And the winner of The Voice is Javier Colon. Awww, well done. Also, exploding confetti and hugs. What a feel-good show. And Javier gives a classy thank you speech and does a "hoo!" to control his emotions.

That's it, folks. Let's see what season 2 brings us. Hopefully less Christina.

Live blogging The Voice: 6/28/11

Final performance show!


It opens with the coaches taking the stage. The return of a Queen cover (this time with David Bowie) with "Under Pressure." Good choice, except every time Christina sings solo, Freddie Mercury's corpse cries.

Things that will be happening tonight: finalists performing with their coaches and an original song (~interesting), as well as Brad "totally endearing" Paisley, and other surprises.

Oh good, a 43958734985734985 minute recap. All you need to know is that the finalists are

Team Christina: Beverly McClellan

Team Blake: Dia Frampton

Team Adam: Javier Colon

Team Cee Lo: Vicci Martinez

Blah, blah blah. Chatting to the finalists. Chatting to the coaches. Lol, Carson Daly made a TRL reference. You're still as boring of a host 10 years on.

Cee Lo chatting about wanting more strong females. I like that. Adam and Christina are bland. Blake is darling as usual. Isn't Blake just a breath of fresh air for TV?

SHUT UP, TECHIE GIRL.

Javier Colon is up first. Rodney Jerkins is helping out with the original song. This song is entitled "Stitch by Stitch." Acoustic-tastic. Let's see if I can come up with a good pop culture formula for this song:

(The Script + Eva Cassidy)^21st Century Adult Contemporary = "Stitch by Stitch"

Judges critiques: Blake: "He's a good dude." Christina: Song suited him well. Cee Lo: "Sounds like it's your song." Adam: May or may not have gotten choked up.

Dia Frampton is duetting with Blake Shelton with "Won't Back Down." Well, it's a sufficiently bland enough song for Dia. To be fair, they're wearing shades and suits, Blues Brothers style. Dammit, this is adorable. It reminds me that sometimes Tom Petty songs are good in a driving-in-the-car sort of way. Question: Do that many guitarists in this back-up band have long hair? Solid, forgettable, cute performance.

Vicci Martinez is up next for her solo. Butch Walker is producing her single. Vicci confesses to Dashboard Confessional as her teenage guilty pleasure. She's pretty awesome. Her original song is called "Afraid to Sleep." She's carrying around the microphone stand. Pop culture analogy for the song:

(80s Heart + Pink)/Oh oh oh = "Afraid to Sleep"

Judges critiques: Adam: talking about having fun being a spectator. Invested in her performance. Apparently she has some jeans Adam gives her. Blake: Been in her pants joke. Christina: great performer. Cee Lo: "A force to be reckoned with." (Have I mentioned Cee Lo's red silk robe/tunic thing?)

Random performance of Pitbull and Ne-Yo "Give Me Everything." Pitbull is everywhere these days, including that ridiculous Jennifer Lopez song "On the Floor" that I hear at least twice per day during my commute to my internship. He's kind of an obnoxious rapper, but I love me some Ne-Yo. Except he just tried to seduce Christina. Ne-yo, you're in the danger zone.

Beverly and Christina will be performing "Beautiful." Barf. Anytime anyone performs this song and it's not in Mean Girls, I have second-hand embarrassment. Well, it wasn't that terrible. They kept things stripped down except their tacky vocals. Beverly sounded better, though.

RIDICULOUS PREVIEW FOR SOME SINGING SHOW WITH DEBORAH MESSING AND "BEAUTIFUL." FAME PART 2: THIS TIME IT'S NOT GLEE?

Dia Frampton is next. Cheesy things are said during the recording. Her song is titled "Inventing Shadows." Pop culture analogy:

(Regina Spektor x Rachael Yamagata)/The Fray = "Inventing Shadows"

In other words, vanilla as hell, but with potential to not completely suck, but it kind of is super boring.

Judges critiques: Christina: trying to pick a fight with the judges, and Blake owns her. Cee Lo: song will probably be #1 on iTunes (BECAUSE IT'S SO BORING). Adam: distracted by the dancers in the background (because he's awesome). Blake: talking trash, like a champ. Can I just vote for Blake?

LOL. Javier and Adam are singing Michael Jackon's "Man in the Mirror." Darling choice, and it'll take advantage of their high ranges. This song is so magic, and these two sound good together, although I wish they would harmonize on the chorus. Javier is totally owning Adam on the key change. I love they're both doing the "hoo!"s. Nice.

Guys, Brad Paisley is performing. I can't say I know every song he's ever written, but I always like his songs, and I'm kind of in love with him. Blake is joining in! Of course. One of these days Blake will perform next to someone and not be a foot taller than them. This is not that day.

Beverly McClellan is next. I missed who the producer is again. I've decided I don't care. Her song is called "Love Sick." It's incredible how bland all of these songs sound on first listen, but would probably all become hits. This original song bit is a fun twist to a voice performance. Pop culture formula:

Journey x Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band = "Love Sick"

Guys, this is my favorite song of the night. My classic rock tendencies have spoken, once again.

Judges critiques: Cee Lo: getting poetic. One of his favorites. Adam: it was ~fun~ Blake: "If music was crack, you would have a serious problem." Christina: work ethic and big heart.

Cee Lo and Vicci are singing Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield." I love Cee Lo's musical choices. Cee Lo looks like King Bowser. Vicci may or may not be the leader to a short of stature post-apocalyptic tribe. This is brilliant. Any time you can combine small children dancing, spikes, gritty vocals, and 80s chick rock, do it.

I don't know who to vote for. Who is your choice?

P.S. I won't be live blogging tomorrow night, but I'll post something celebrating the winner. Good night!