Buscemi Love

I celebrate Steve Buscemi over at take148.

Medley of the Day: Statutory rape edition

Sometimes, lyricists don't obsess about a specific age (like 16 or 17), but address the underage (and/or infantilized) female populace in broader terms. The late '60s seemed to be breeding ground for this kind of magical pop music that both preys on and fears female sexuality. It's surprisingly catchy!

"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap (1968)

Choice lines: "You better run girl", "You led me to believe/you're old enough to give me love/and now it hurts to know the truth", "That come-on look is in your eyes"

Moral: Always check ID's.

"Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" by Neil Diamond (1967)

Choice lines: "Don't let them make up your mind", "Girl, you'll be a woman soon/soon, you'll need a man"

Moral: Young women really need an older man to look after them and to shape and limit their world view.

"Little Girl" by Syndicate of Sound (1966)

Choice lines: "You didn't do nothin' that hadn't been done before", "You got nothin' to hide and everybody knows it's true"

Moral: Just to be clear, I'm calling you a slut.

"Run for Your Life" by The Beatles (1965)

Choice lines:"Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl than to be with another man", "Baby, I'm determined/And I'd rather see you dead"

Moral: The patriarchy has control over your sexual choices.

I finally figured out why I didn't like Blue Valentine

It is the cinematic equivalent of this song:

Quick explanation: the guy is douchebag. Of course you don't marry the guy who threatens to jump off a bridge if you don't tell him something deeply personal. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

Medley of the Day: Prom edition

Mostly because these indifferentiable songs seem to only appear in shows/movies that involve the big school dance--which is further proof that the media is far removed from the truth. No one's high school played songs like this. You can't freak dance to this mellowness.

"Fade into You" by Mazzy Star (1994)

Appeared in Angus (which, PS, is a terrible movie about a high school outcast learning self-confidence. It was almost unwatchable, and this is coming from someone who voluntarily sat through Lucas the other day) and the Gilmore Girls episode "Rory's Dance."

"Wild Horses" by The Sundays (1992)

Appeared in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "The Prom," also known as the end of the glory days of Buffy.

School of Rock 2

If there's one thing that rock establishes, it's that women are no good. In fact, they are the embodiment of evil. As a woman, I can neither confirm nor deny this thesis. I can however, compile a chronological list of songs containing the words devil, evil, and wicked in reference to women in the title.

1. Let's be honest, this theme's got deep roots in the blues. Here's Skip James' "Devil Got My Woman" (1920s/30s).

2. This even caught on with New Zealand's Elvis Presley, Johnny Devlin. "Wicked Wicked Woman" (1958ish).

3. Joe Hex brings us "Wicked Woman" (Mystery Year) complete with about 234987 key changes.

4. This one is a little more R&B and is also the best thing ever. "Wicked Woman" by Lynn Johnson (Mystery year)

5. Hell, even country got in on this. With a Spanish guitar flair. Here's Marty Robbins' "Devil Woman" (1962).

6. PJ Proby brings us a cheesy brass section in "Wicked Woman" (1963).

7. Well this is adorable. "Devil in Her Heart" by the Beatles (1963).

8. A blues-based rock epic, heavy on the organ, you ask? Here's "Evil Woman" by Spooky Tooth (1969).

9. I guess we were going to get to actual Satanists at some point. Here's "Wicked Woman" by Coven (1969).

10. "Evil Woman (Don't Play Your Games With Me)" by Crow (1969) was covered by Black Sabbath the next year, but--as you should know by now--a horn section trumps all.

11. So Ringo Starr has a B-Side called "Devil Woman" (1973). Let's be honest: this is awful. In a Meatloaf sort of way. At least he references Sexy Sadie.

12. The honor of my favorite "Evil Woman" song goes to Electric Light Orchestra (1975). Jeff Lynne writes a catchy song. Even better if you can include a cello.

13. Although Cliff Richard comes pretty close, too. Seriously"Devil Woman" (1976) is perfection.

"She's gonna get you from behind."

14. "Evil Woman" by Nightwing (1982) may or may not have been recorded in a garage. Also, crazy prog organ solo.

15. I draw the line of anything after this. For the most part it includes some magnificent covers. Suffice it to say, Shy's version of Cliff Richard's "Devil Woman" is my favorite.

Evilly yours,

Kelsy

Guys,

The universe really wants me to be in the mood for Christmas. I mean, it's snowing in Seattle in NOVEMBER, and it reminded me of how much I kind of miss the way snow dampens sound and simultaneously mutes colors and reflects light. I miss real winter.

So, as a pre-Thanksgiving Christmas treat, the Cambridge Choir performing "Gabriel's Message."



(Or, if you prefer Sting's version)