Medley of the Day: Statutory rape edition

Sometimes, lyricists don't obsess about a specific age (like 16 or 17), but address the underage (and/or infantilized) female populace in broader terms. The late '60s seemed to be breeding ground for this kind of magical pop music that both preys on and fears female sexuality. It's surprisingly catchy!

"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap (1968)

Choice lines: "You better run girl", "You led me to believe/you're old enough to give me love/and now it hurts to know the truth", "That come-on look is in your eyes"

Moral: Always check ID's.

"Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" by Neil Diamond (1967)

Choice lines: "Don't let them make up your mind", "Girl, you'll be a woman soon/soon, you'll need a man"

Moral: Young women really need an older man to look after them and to shape and limit their world view.

"Little Girl" by Syndicate of Sound (1966)

Choice lines: "You didn't do nothin' that hadn't been done before", "You got nothin' to hide and everybody knows it's true"

Moral: Just to be clear, I'm calling you a slut.

"Run for Your Life" by The Beatles (1965)

Choice lines:"Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl than to be with another man", "Baby, I'm determined/And I'd rather see you dead"

Moral: The patriarchy has control over your sexual choices.

School of Rock 2

If there's one thing that rock establishes, it's that women are no good. In fact, they are the embodiment of evil. As a woman, I can neither confirm nor deny this thesis. I can however, compile a chronological list of songs containing the words devil, evil, and wicked in reference to women in the title.

1. Let's be honest, this theme's got deep roots in the blues. Here's Skip James' "Devil Got My Woman" (1920s/30s).

2. This even caught on with New Zealand's Elvis Presley, Johnny Devlin. "Wicked Wicked Woman" (1958ish).

3. Joe Hex brings us "Wicked Woman" (Mystery Year) complete with about 234987 key changes.

4. This one is a little more R&B and is also the best thing ever. "Wicked Woman" by Lynn Johnson (Mystery year)

5. Hell, even country got in on this. With a Spanish guitar flair. Here's Marty Robbins' "Devil Woman" (1962).

6. PJ Proby brings us a cheesy brass section in "Wicked Woman" (1963).

7. Well this is adorable. "Devil in Her Heart" by the Beatles (1963).

8. A blues-based rock epic, heavy on the organ, you ask? Here's "Evil Woman" by Spooky Tooth (1969).

9. I guess we were going to get to actual Satanists at some point. Here's "Wicked Woman" by Coven (1969).

10. "Evil Woman (Don't Play Your Games With Me)" by Crow (1969) was covered by Black Sabbath the next year, but--as you should know by now--a horn section trumps all.

11. So Ringo Starr has a B-Side called "Devil Woman" (1973). Let's be honest: this is awful. In a Meatloaf sort of way. At least he references Sexy Sadie.

12. The honor of my favorite "Evil Woman" song goes to Electric Light Orchestra (1975). Jeff Lynne writes a catchy song. Even better if you can include a cello.

13. Although Cliff Richard comes pretty close, too. Seriously"Devil Woman" (1976) is perfection.

"She's gonna get you from behind."

14. "Evil Woman" by Nightwing (1982) may or may not have been recorded in a garage. Also, crazy prog organ solo.

15. I draw the line of anything after this. For the most part it includes some magnificent covers. Suffice it to say, Shy's version of Cliff Richard's "Devil Woman" is my favorite.

Evilly yours,

Kelsy

Everyone covers Dylan: "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35"

"Rainy Day Women #12 & 35" is an absolutely ridiculous song with a strip-tease beat. Found on Dylan's 1966 album Blonde on Blonde, I'm pretty sure none of the musicians on the record are sober.

The original:


I love the laughing through the singing thing though.

A 1991 cover by the classically rock and roll Black Crowes:


No really, could they be more rock 'n' roll?

Fellow old-man, talk singer Tom Petty does a rendition in 1992


That guitarist almost looks familiar. Should I know who that is?

Apparently a version by the Beatles. It's quite short:


Good ending though.

For some lady-action, here's Ana Cañas spare 2007 version:


Interesting, no?

And for pure obscurity, "Pietre" by Antoine. It's not a straight cover, but it was influenced by "Rainy Day Women." Probably. Google translation is tricky. 1967 in Italy:


Nice 'stache though.

Medley of the Day: Sun worship

It's sunny in the Pacific Northwest today, which means it is both gorgeous and not raining. In celebration, have a medley.

First up, Local Natives give us chant-filled ode to the sun, "Sun Hands" (2009).


Also, does the lead singer looks like a more adorable version of mustachioed Freddie Mercury, or am I just obsessed with Freddie Mercury and mustaches?


More hipster pagan-rhythms, you say? Here's Yeasayer's "Sunrise" (2008):


Good to see David Byrne's dance moves live on.

But what if you want a made up, pseudo-Romance language to describe your love of the sun? "Sun King" from The Beatles' Abbey Road (1969):


Sounds like someone learned Iberian Spanish!

Go outside already.

100 Favorite Songs: 91-95

Second to last.

91. “Every Moment” by Rogue Wave (2004)

Brevity with a solid beat.


10 extra points for the Mormon shoutout.


92. “So Far Away” by Carol King (1971)

5th grade was the year after my BFF moved away, the year that my ultimate elementary school love moved away, and the year I questioned God's existence. In other words, I spent that year depressed, but Carole King's Tapestry on repeat helped. "So Far Away" is one of my favorite songs on the album.


They're all so little!

93. “The Things We Do For Love” by 10cc (1977)

Let's cheer up with a perfectly written pop song, "The Things We Do For Love." The chord progression in the bridge is so good. And what is it about a piano that automatically makes a pop song that much bouncier and awesome?


Good effort with the live vocal harmonies, fellas.

94. “I’m Only Sleeping” by The Beatles (1966)

Oh, John. Sleep is fantastic. Here's the incredibly true and catchy song as the Beatles defeat a dragon (song starts about 2:00).

WTF.

95. “Superstar” by The Carpenters (1971, original "Groupie (Superstar)" written in 1969 by Bonnie Bramlett and Leon Russell)

Such a lovely melody and deep voice.

A chorus I'm not afraid to bust out on all occasions.

100 Favorite Songs: 46-50

More evidence that I really did just make this list off the top of my head: a double dose of Journey.

46. “There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet ” by Panic! At the Disco (2005)

Remember when this band was still happening? And how terrible that title has always been? But then the song is just really fun to sing along to? Also, the phrase "I'm the new cancer"? Awesome.

This was the least ridiculous performance I could find of this song. I'm giving you lower quality and Ryan encouraging jazz hands so you don't have to suffer Brendon dancing with skanky Victorian girls.


47. “You Never Give Me Your Money” by The Beatles (1969)

Such a gorgeous beginning with a weirdly vocalized middle (yeah, that's Paul) and ridiculous nursery rhyme end. And you know I can't resist vocal harmonies.


I'm a bigger fan of the latter portion of the Beatles' career. You?


48. “Wedding Bell Blues” by 5th Dimension (1969)

Originally a Laura Nyro song, the 5th Dimension had a big hit with this catchy song. Mostly, I just love Marilyn McCoo's voice.

Incidentally, the guy Marilyn's singing to is named Billy, and the two married in 1969.


49. “Lights” by Journey (1978)

I discovered my love of this song on a choir trip in high school to San Francisco (coincidence?). One of my roommates on the trip and I had a Journey dance party since the local classic rock radio station was no doubt having a Block Party Weekend. In other words, a great night.

Is Yevgeny Plushenko the reincarnation of Steve Perry? Discuss.

50. “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey (1981)

You'd think you could get sick of a song you've listened to hundreds of times, but "Don't Stop Believin'" never gets less powerful.

They sound great live despite the bassist's molester mustache.

The Audacity of Rock: Part 26

Stealing girls from guys.

It's a well documented fact that the presence of a guitar instantly makes a guy 7x more attractive than without. Apparently it's so attractive that women may leave their boyfriends for such talented guys. Level of talent needed to impress a girl: 3 chords, probably in the key of D.

"You're Gonna Lose that Girl" by The Beatles (1965)

Dude. It's the Help!-era Beatles. Of course your girl is going to leave you for one of them. Even Ringo. Just give up.




"Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy" by Fall Out Boy (2003)

If I had heard of them before summer 2005 when "Sugar, We're Going Down" was their breakout hit and my Cold Stone manager incessantly played "Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy" at closing time, I may have been a big fan. But alas, I was over the age of 15. But you have to admit that early Fall Out Boy was kind of adorable. No one was wearing eyeliner or casting their across their eyes. Plus, they're totally going to steal your girlfriend. Because they play guitar in a pop rock band.




Questions to ponder:

1. Is there really a good time besides a campfire to pull out your guitar in public?
2. What song makes you want to punch a guy in the face for playing?

The Audacity of Rock: Part 19

I'm totally going to get a girl with this song.

Since the dawn of music (probably), men having been writing songs for the ladies. The most surefire way to get your message of love to the girl of choice is to put the chick's name in the song, preferably making the name the title*. There are so many to choose from, so I picked one from the last five decades.

"Michelle" by The Beatles (1965)

Even the Beatles weren't above using a bird's name in a song--or rudimentary French.



"Alison" by Elvis Costello (1977)

This is one of my default-stuck-in-my-head songs. I'm bound to sing it to any Alison I know.



"Amanda" by Boston (1986)

If you're all, "This sounds exactly like every other Boston song, but with just hint of Power Ballad," I'm like, "That's why it's awesome."



"Valerie Loves Me" by Material Issue (1991)

Apparently bands hated girls' names in the 90s. They're getting raped ("Polly"), rejected ("Molly"), called a whore ("Ava Adore"), or fake ("Josie (Everything's Gonna Be Fine)"), but not loved. Anyway, after way too much "research" here's a 90s song that's kind of an ode to a woman. I guess.

Material Issue |MTV Music

"Kelsey" by Metro Station (2007)

It took long enough to get a song with my name in it. Too bad it's kind of a lame song, in the sense that I doubt they'd actually swim the ocean for me. They didn't even spell my name right, so whatever. They suck.



Questions to Ponder:

1. Why did the 90s hate women?

2. What happened to Jayne?

L.A. Guns |MTV Music

*I realize most (read: all) my posts for The Audacity of Rock are about dude rockers. Sorry.

College pop culture retrospective

In honor of my college graduation, I give a list of my favorite pop cultural finds of my college years. It's pretty random list, some of which is completely cliche, but here you go:

1. Bollywood. My freshman roommate started me on Bollywood films with Dil Chahta Hai. While in recent years my consumption has slowed down, they're usually good for a laugh or cry or just fun if you've got a spare 3 hours.

Om Shanti Om is fantastic. I never wrote a review on it, but if you love super-meta, making a movie within a movie, genre mixing movies, than this one is for you. It's funny, a little tragic, and randomly spooky. Plus, Hamlet and Singin' in the Rain references.

2. The Beatles. Like anyone who likes music, I've always loved the Beatles, but I owe a guy I will always remember as Hot Hot Brian in my psych class for pointing me toward Rubber Soul during a class presentation. After that, I was hooked to the Beatles' later (and more awesome) albums.

Seriously. Buy it. Love it.

3. Led Zeppelin. *cough*

Jimmy Page is inviting you into the dangerous world of Led Zeppelin fandom. Warning: it can be obsessive.

4. K-dramas. Next time in search for a corny series I might branch out from Korean dramas, but My Lovely Sam Soon was a good place to start.

I know right? From this picture alone My Lovely Sam Soon is already too adorable to resist. FYI, it's like a Korean Bridget Jones except way more adorable...adorable.
Shockingly, it's probably just as cheesy.

5. House. I have found that a good way to tell if you're going to like a roommate is if they'll sit down and watch an episode of House with you.

The original team smilier than they are ever on the show; I just love this picture.

6. Online television. I'm counting both legal and more sketchy means. It's so much more convenient to find catch up on tv shows since I got to college, and I love the internet for that.

It's like magic.

7. pandora.com. Check out this station that was developed from artists I discoverd on pandora. I now can enjoy bluegrass and other musical genres new to me.

8. Emo. Sometimes, it doesn't suck. But as a friend said, everyone has a quota of how much emo they can take. Personally, emo better come with some pop hooks or I'm out. Less offensive emos: Panic at the Disco (since they're either electronica or Beatles in their approach), Cartel (pop-y!), about 4 of My Chemical Romance's songs, about 5 of Fall Out Boy's songs, a smattering of others. But for the most part, still kind of a whiny/mediocre genre.

Do yourself a favor and never image search 'emo.'

9. The rock musical/opera. Possibly the best film genre possible in that the musical is usually good and the plot is usually preposterous. This magical blend makes sure that you feel both pleasure and guilt if you like it. Great examples: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Across the Universe, Tommy.

I was going to subject you to Mean Mr. Mustard's robots in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, but thought better of it and instead I give you the Barry Gibb and his fabulous locks, the rest of the Bee Gees, and Peter Frampton in the film.

And in case you're concerned about what happens to Mr. Frampton...


Billy Preston magically appears from a weather vane to save the day! yay!

The Audacity of Rock: Part 1

One of my favorite things about rock criticism these days (from the little that I read of it) is how much critics like to point out that new bands pastiche old ones, mostly whenever current acts try anything ambitious/ridiculous. I submit this: rock is/has/always will be ridiculous so stop pretending it can be anything but. Really, in our era of deconstructionism, it's impossible to try something highly conceptual without it looking contrived, but that audacity is what makes rock awesome. You want to try a concept album? Do it. Go on tour with contortionists? Yes. Wear androgynous make-up/get ups? Of course the atrocity of prog rock should always live on.

Anyway, I'd like to draw comparisons between past rock acts and current ones mostly to show that new acts are just awesome, even if nothing about them is really new. I think new bands' efforts should be embraced because, let's be honest, it's always been about trying too hard to be cool. Now time for Part 1.

Weird crap happening whilst in the woods wearing suits. While The Beatles' "Strawberry Fields Forever" has a bizarre harpischord (?) with webs on it and stuff filmed backwards, Panic at the Disco's "That Green Gentleman" has old-timey bicycles and Russian dolls with themselves at different ages contained therein.

Panic at the Disco |MTV Music

Questions to ponder:
1. Which one is creepier?
2. Which one makes more/any sense?
3. On a scale from 'pretty' to 'do they even know what's going on', how high are the Beatles in this video?
3. Has Paul McCartney always looked that feminine?
4. Why does Brandon Urie have a sitar in boat?
5. How awesomely ridiculous are both of these?

Medley of the Day: Short songs I could listen to over and over

1. "J’y Suis Jamais Alle" by Yann Tiersen. This is part of the Amelie soundtrack and the only song that uses this theme. It's a sweet melody that sounds and feels like a carousel. Plus, it's hard not to be charmed by the accordion.

2. "Song for the Asking" by Simon & Garfunkel. Paul Simon could always write songs that sound nostalgic. It just sounds like memories. This song is full of such sincere yearning it's heartbreaking.

3. "Golden Slumbers" by The Beatles. There is an inordinate number of Beatles songs that are less than a 2 minutes, but this one I always want to be longer. Wedge between "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window" and "Carry that Weight" on Abbey Road, this pseudo-lullaby shows up. The words say sleep, Paul McCartney's vocals scream passion. Nothing is more darling than Paul trying to put soul in his voice.

4. "Aquarium from Le Carnaval des Animaux" by Camille Saint-Saëns. This instrumental piece is nothing but magical. I was first introduced to it in the film Days of Heaven which adds a fairytale air to a sadly realistic film. Early trailers of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button used it, fooling me into thinking the film would be just as magical as the song or as beautiful as Days of Heaven. Turns out, just the song added the magic. Enjoy.

5. "Bookends" by Simon and Garfunkel. Here's Paul Simon again, crafting gorgeous pieces of music into small packages. If only I could harness the poetic melancholy of this song to a full album.

Medley of the Day: Creepy songs about teenage girls edition

I don't know what it is, but songs about 16- and 17-year-olds are incredibly creepy. Probably because they are obviously sung by men far too old to be hitting on or to be with teenage girls. Here's a fine playlist of of some "hits" about teenage girls:


Enjoy the creepy pinkness of this widget.

1. "You're Sixteen You're Beautiful (and You're Mine)" Johnny Burnette--Why is it so creepy: an obvious fascination with childish and little girly things like ribbons and curls. Also, putting a girl on a pedestal proving that he's not really into talking to her/finding out if she has a personality.

2. "Sixteen Candles" The Crests--Why is it so creepy: emphasizes the youth of the subject (the birthday girl) and wishes for reciprocated love even though he's probably about ten years older. Ew.

3. "Only Sixteen" Sam Cooke--Why is it so creepy: Actually, this one isn't creepy because it's sung from the perspective of a 16-year-old boy. In fact, it's rather sweet (16?). I just included it to break up the grossness.

4. "I Saw Her Standing There" The Beatles--Why it is so creepy: "You know what I mean."

5. "Seventeen" Foreigner--Why is it so creepy: Assumes a girl of 17 is capable of playing games with someone's heart in some sort of mature manner--although she was probably trying to get out of this controlling/emotionally abusive relationship.

6. "Seventeen" Winger--Why it is so creepy: I owe the discovery of this song to Pajiba's "The Dark Age of Metal." Just watch the video in that post and be creeped out by the hairy creepiness of 20-something rockers hitting/preying on 17-year-olds.

Medley of the Day: Let's folk it out Edition

First up is a song from one of my favorite pandora.com finds: The Wailin' Jennys. They performed the song "Swallow" at the 2006 Pickathon Roots Music Festival in Portland, OR (shout out). Unsurprisingly, they sound awesome live. Favorite lyric: "Now come connect the dot me":



Let's get some Led Zeppelin in here with "Gallows Pole". According to the YouTube description this is "A 'Tribute' to the legend Jimmy Page!!" Yes a "tribute".



Okay, here's another Pandora find, "Too Easy" by Catherine MacLellan. I wish I could pull off that hair. Or have her voice. Really, I just think she's cool. Also, she's from Prince Edward Island = Anne of Green Gables = Gilbert Blythe = the love of my fictional character-filled life.



I'm going to include a Beatles song, "Mother Nature's Son", because I can. It's vaguely folky, with a nice dose of horn. Enjoy the random pictures:

Medley of the day: Moving Out

I'm moving out of the apartment complex I've been at for two years. The last year absolutely sucked, which probably was partly my fault. My roommate I'd lived with my freshman and sophomore year and loved got engaged last summer and left me for good in October, leaving me somewhat friendless. I knew a couple of my roommates from before, but it wasn't the same. Who was I going to watch Bollywood movies or midnight clean the kitchen with? I almost moved, but decided even semi-friends was better than no friends.

Now, I'm officially moving, and in celebration, a medley of moving songs.

First up is the Beatles' "She's Leaving home". This one is about a girl leaving home to have fun, thus abandoning her parents. It's a beautiful melody with haunting back-up vocals by John.



This second one is "Going to California" by Led Zeppelin. It's a rather wistful song about heartbreak and moving on.



This next one is kind of loosely related to the theme, but I love it. It's a 2003 clip from Nashville Star featuring the adorable Miranda Lambert who has a gorgeous voice. She wrote "Greyhound Bound for Nowhere" with her dad (how awesomely country is that?). It's about leaving a relationship with a married man, but she's moving, so I count it as legit.



Last, one my absolute favorite Billy Joel songs, "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)". Tell me it's not the most fun ever to sing along to all the "ack-ack-acK-aCK-ACK!"s. Also, "He works at Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street".


Yeah, this is just some guy playing it on his turntable.

Medley in my head of the day:

"Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin combined with "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" by the Beatles.
These two actually go together, I swear.