Dear network TV,

Way to seduce me into watching your new cop shows with great lead-in shows and some favorites as the lead characters. I don't want to spend 3 hours straight watching TV, but you've made me do. ABC's The Unusuals seems like pretty standard cop procedural fare (set in NYC), but I really like Amber Tamblyn and Adam Goldberg in the random stuff, so I watched it. And I'm in the process of watching NBC's Southland (set in LA), but it looks like they're trying to be as edgy as network TV can be--complete with shaky-cam and the bleeping out of too risque words. Too bad I'm going to keep watching it because The OC favorite Benjamin McKenzie and the love of my That Thing You Do! life Tom Everett Scott is in it.

Love love,
Kelsy

P.S. Let me just transcribe some of the magical dialogue and events from this pilot episode. Starting from about 10 minutes in:

• "Come home and make a baby."
• "You've got 90210 written all over you."
• "He doesn't pay his rent! What am I supposed to do?"
• "Look, I'm never gonna lie, okay?"
• newbie (Benjamin McKenzie) throwing up after seeing a rotting corpse (pilot episode of ER much, same producer?)
• newbie called "Tori Spelling"
• douchebag training cops yells to vice cop dressed as hooker, "Hey baby! Show me your bleep!"
• "Don't think you can handle it, quit now. Do us all a favor and give up."
• "You threatening me!?"
• Speaking of That Thing You Do! I keep thinking of Lamarr saying, "Have you tried the peach cobbler? Best in the southland."
• "Shoot. We got our own war on terror right here."
• Hey! Creepy Phil from Lost is in this!
• "Cuff first, then search."
• (Commercials rant: Observe and Report looks not only not funny, but meanspirited. Repeated viewings of the commerical for it makes me think Anna Faris is even less funny than originally thought.)
• "Do you know who did this?"
• "Kids running around shooting each other because they're wearing the wrong colors. Or they are the wrong color."
• "What the hell did you think a gun was for? Show and tell?" This is only the beginning of this fantastically trope-filled tough-love speech which includes the phrase "front row seats to the greatest show on earth." Some more: "And that my friend is God's work. If you want to be a pussy, quit." Epic.
• head bludgeon!
• (Commericals rant: "Roger Ebert gives Knowing four stars." He also gave Watchmen the film four stars and thought it was nuanced. Think about it.)
• "I didn't want to hurt her. She started screaming, and I panicked."
• Newbie asking about the guy he shot, "Is he okay?" Veteran cop gives a knowing look.
• End montage to The National's "Fake Empire."
  
• Promo: "Where very moment is what you'd never expect." I'm sure.

Final word: I probably won't watch Southland again. It's taking itself way too seriously for how boring it is. But I'm willing to give The Unusuals another try since it's at least trying to give the characters some personality, no matter how hokey the attempt.

The Audacity of Rock: Part 5

Spazzy dancing lead singers.

A lead singer has the responsibility to be the face of the band, whether that's mysterious, angsty, hardcore, or just plain weird. It's amazing how crazy some lead singers get to keep their persona and the band's energy up. Sometimes it's hard to interpret what exactly a lead singer is trying to do with their movement, but it's usually pretty entertaining.

"Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads

David Byrne's spazzy dancing is forgivable because it seems intentional. The band's music is usually outright bizarre. Occasionally a catchy hook and the bizarre lyrics merge to become great. David Byrne then flails to the music and we end up with a beautiful piece of rock performance.

Talking Heads |MTV Music

"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay

I usually enjoy Coldplay's music, but I cannot watch it be performed. Chris Martin is just too enthusiastic and ADHD for my taste. Even in this video, Chris Martin is almost too spazzy to handle. Mostly I loathe how hilariously demonstrative he is with his gestures to match the lyrics.

Coldplay |MTV Music

Questions to Ponder:
1. Assuming it's a conscious decision, how does one decide that they want to move like David Byrne or Chris Martin?
2. Can I please take dance classes from either one of these guys?


Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 of The Audacity of Rock.

Medley of the Day: It's sunny edition

I hope by making this playlist, the weather gods won't curse me with another round of snowstorms, but I really just want to celebrate the sun and spring and being excited that school's almost out for summer.



1. "Someday Someway" by Marshall Crenshaw. Possibly one of the best pop songwriters ever, Mr. Crenshaw wrote one of the catchiest, most upbeat songs ever. Love.

2. "Mykonos" by Fleet Foxes. I love a good melody and sweet vocal harmonies--especially when they take a turn for the Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.

3. "When the Day Met the Night" by Panic at the Disco. One year later, still in love with this album.

4. "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey. Possibly one of the cheesiest songs ever produced, it sounds like a middle school crush.

5. "Copperline" by James Taylor. I can't resist. It reminds me of jumping on the trampoline and smelling freshly cut grass.

How to Steal a Million

How to Steal a Million (1966) is one of those movies that shouldn't work, mostly due to the script. The plot is just ludicrous*: a young woman's father is an art forger. He just lent a statue to a local museum, but the museum wants to insure so they must inspect it closer. But it's a fake, so to protect her father, the young woman enlists the help of a man she caught burgling a painting from her home to help burgle the statue from the museum. But the burglar isn't really a burglar at all**! Hilarity and romance in a utility closet ensues.

It's terribly contrived but ends up being a lot of fun only because of the charm of Audrey Hepburn and Peter O'Toole. To be honest, I adore this movie mostly because of Mr. O'Toole. Most of his films that I've seen are quite serious, but in this he's just incorrigible, clever, charismatic--not to mention those big blue eyes! Really, he's mastered the "are you serious" look, and he uses it well in this film whenever Hepburn's character does something ridiculous that no one would ever actually do (which is pretty much every scene). In fact, I usually just ignore what's going on in the plot entirely and bask in the fabulousness of Hepburn and O'Toole.

This YouTube video, while using the overused "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall, has several O'Toole reaction shots which should be all you need to convince you to watch How to Steal a Million:



And for added bonus...

Pete posing like the fake Cellini Venus.

Audrey dressing the wounds of criminal in her house that she accidentally shot...of course.
Although he is charmingly dressed in a tuxedo.

Have I mentioned how much I want Audrey's lacy mask thing?
And maybe a Peter O'Toole arm around my shoulders as well?

*My gut instinct is to spell this word "ludacris"...
**How many forms of burgle can I use in one post?

Triple threat...to your heart

I dare anyone to watch all three of these Italian movies in a row. I think your heart would burst from too much happiness, sadness, nostalgia, humor, and love.

Life is Beautiful (1997). Cutest family ever?

Il Postino (1994). A poet and a peasant: heartwarming hilarity.

Cinema Paradiso (1988). Toto and Alfredo. 'nuff said.

The Audacity of Rock: Part 4

Hey guys! Let's wear masks!

This is probably the most ridiculous connection I've made yet. Mostly, I wanted to use bands I hadn't used before in making a connection through rock's past and present. Please enjoy the result of me searching the internet and racking my brains.

Genesis "The Musical Box" (I believe this is a truncated version)

Peter Gabriel was a big fan of dressing up, negating the positive, upbeat, only mildly strange music of Genesis during his era and making it super-weird. But you've got to love it. Here he is in a Fox mask (and red dress). Whether it was because he was shy or just trying to make some sort of statement, who knows? But I do know that I kind of love how mismatched his outfit seems to the rest of the band and the music. To be fair, he's kind of weird without the mask, too.



Slipknot "Psychosocial"

Before today, I had no idea there was a band out there that wore Michael Myers masks. But then again, I don't like screamo very much. At least Slipknot gives me the relief of a sung chorus. Anyway, with the masks, notice that they're all different. Much like BSB, you can pick your favorite one. My favorite is is the zanni inspired executioner mask--adorable! Or absolutely frightening. I can't decide.

Slipknot |MTV Music

Questions to Ponder:
1. While I understand that Slipknot is attempting to make their hard core even hard corer by wearing these masks, does Peter Gabriel have any good reason for wearing one?
2. Is Slipknot scary or just hilarious? How does the choppy editing and quickly changing focus of the video help the scariness or hilariousness?
3. In fact, who would be scarier to encounter: the 9-masked-man band Slipknot or Peter Gabriel in a fox mask?

Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of The Audacity of Rock.