The Sexiest Men Alive According to Kelsy This Year

I know my readers were all, "Kelsy, when are you going to create a response post to your sister's 'The Sexiest Men Alive According to Lauren This Year' post and People's Sexiest Men Alive issue?" Well folks, here it is. I tried to keep my choices relevant to 2011 and what work these fellas did in the time. Enjoy:

Jake Johnson (Nick from New Girl, or Bootleg Ruffalo): Look, he makes Zooey Deschanel's Jess tolerable, which is a rare feat indeed.

Sexual tension and Christmas: two of my favorite things.

Donald Glover (Troy from Community, Childish Gambino, that one time his poster was in Awkward Black Girl): He manages to be dumb-funny and smart-funny at the same time.

Also, Donald took the one good thing about Bruce Springsteen (the white shirt/jeans/red thing in pocket look) and put it to work.

Ryan Gosling (hipster boyfriend/husband in Blue Valentine, impeccable dressed playboy in Crazy Stupid Love, the Driver in Drive): the kid's been all over the place this year, but he's earning his keep. Except in The Ides of March, but I'm going to have to blame that on the insufferable Evan Rachel Wood and really mediocre filmmaking.

Sporting the beard that makes The Notebook watchable.

Robert Sheehan (Nathan from Misfits, the less stupid brother in Killing Bono): I like an Irish accent and a goofy sense of humor. The curly hair, dreamy eyes, and skinny body are just gravy.

Serious face.

Adam Scott (Ben from Parks and Rec): I could watch him make an "Are you kidding me?" face all day, when he's not making cute, lovey faces at Leslie Knope.

Seriously, are you kidding me?

Mark Foster (frontman of Foster the People): This dude is the epitome of goofy-hot. He's got David Byrne syndrome on stage, but is infectiously fun. Plus, he made an adorable pair with Gabourey Sidibe in Foster's "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" video, because two adorable people make a lot of adorable.

He also pulls off perma-greasy hair.

James McAvoy (X-Men: First Class): For smoldering eyes and great chemistry with every co-star he has ever had, from the wooden Keira Knightly to the also sexy Michael Fassbender.

THE INTENSITY IN THOSE EYES.

Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock): I just love smart assholes.

The epitome of British hot, which is another way of saying goofy-hot, but also British.

Lyman Johnson (White Jay on Awkward Black Girl): Awkward is way better than boring Fred.

Awwww.

Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class, Jane Eyre): For the self-assured smoldering eyes.

Mmm, disheveled 19th Century realness.

Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter franchise): For getting through puberty and turning out hot as well as being one of the few characters I still cared about by the end of Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Nice Cardigan

Damon Wayans, Jr. (Brad from Happy Endings and the black roommate from the pilot of New Girl): Talk about goofy humor, his physical comedy is perfection. Plus, he knows his Gilmore Girls.

Also loves Indecent Proposal-ing.

"Thinking About You" from worst to best

So, here's a Justin Bieber ft. Jaden Smith cover of Frank Ocean's "Thinking About You":



This is an American tragedy.

Even this Angie Davis character gets it better than these two teen heartthrobs (is Jaden a heartthrob yet? Has the Smith family forced him upon our innocent tweens enough for that to happen?):




And these sweet harmonies from Christian, Tim, Anton & Harry:




How about these guys called Twilite acoustically bringing their game:




Or even this way too attractive Gabe Bondoc and his ukulele:




But nothing beats the original:

Frank Ocean - Thinking About You (music video) from High5Collective on Vimeo.

My old roommate said I reminded her of Zooey Deschanel on New Girl

Apparently, I go around singing things all the time (pretty accurate), but I can guarantee my hair doesn't look that good, I don't have as big of a selection of vintage dresses, and I'm socially competent. I AM NOT ZOOEY DESCHANEL. Ahem. Anyway, I just marathoned a bunch of episodes, and I guess I'll go with that comparison as long as it means I can have a Nick in my life:

I KNOW. SHE'S INSUFFERABLE, BUT JAKE M. JOHNSON* IS SO ATTRACTIVE.

Just don't make me be as obnoxious as Zooey Deschanel. It would make my already depressing life that much worse. Here, let me distract you from my emo moment with this terrible shipper video:

*Or, as my friend calls him, Bootleg Mark Ruffalo.

What I learned from Babes in Toyland (1961)

1. All fairytales take place in one location: town square.

2. Talking trees aren't just for JRR Tolkein.

3. Annette Funicello has the acting capacity of January Jones.

4. 1960s children's films are probably better if you're on acid.

5. In the words of YouTube commenter slut4berniesanders :

"The worst part about having your beloved fiance die is that there's no one around to do math for you! Am I right, ladies??"

6. Good villain flunkies are hard to come by.

7. Good physical comedy is also hard to come by.

8. I'm attracted to any/all young, haphazard scientists. See also Beast from X-Men: First Class before he mutated.

Sexy Grumio.

9. Male love interests cross-dressing as gypsy fortune tellers is always a good idea. See also Jane Eyre.

10. If you're going to be villain, pussfooting is occasionally a good idea.

11. The best way to make children less obnoxious in a movie is to cut them out of the movie during key action scenes.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of December 3, 2011

Another month and more dance beats have entered the charts. Let's check it out.

10. "The One that Got Away" by Katy Perry

Another catchy song from Katy Perry. At least it's not "Someone Like You"-level sad given the dance beat. Plus, Diego Luna is pretty hot in the video, so I'll allow it.

9. "Take Care" by Drake featuring Rihanna

Rihanna owns my soul at this point. She's cranking out a lot of good songs lately, even in the midst of mediocre songs she's releasing. But damn, I'm liking this collaboration with Drake.

8. "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine
Really?

7. "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida

This would be a great workout song, if I actually worked out. I have to say I'm just glad someone is sampling a recent house artist for the chorus rather than covering overplayed indie hits from the Garden State soundtrack era. Sorry, that's been weighing on my mind lately.

6. "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera
Still around.

5. "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars

I'm too distracted by Bruno Mars' Jason Priestly hair in this video to comment on how perfect this song choice is for the Breaking Dawn: Part 1 soundtrack.

4. "Without You" by David Guetta featuring Usher
I for one welcome the return of dance pop songs. At least pop music is serving a purpose (spontaneous dance parties) in addition to being candy music these days.

3. "Someone Like You" by Adele
Not enough "I can't" in the world.

2. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO
I don't hate this song as much as I used to. The "wiggle" breakdown is just so ridiculous, you have to admire a grown person for putting it in a song.

1. "We Found Love" by Rihanna
Haven't gotten sick of it yet.

Clark Gable Realness

Robert Donat seems to be the British answer to Clark Gable's Peter Warne (It Happened One Night) in The 39 Steps, tweed suit and all. 39 Steps starts out as a fairly serious film with a few wisecracks and ends up being downright screwball, albeit with a large helping of Hitchcock's "wrongfully accused" sauce. Consider me charmed.

Anyway, here's an excuse to compare some great mustaches of the 1930s from both Donat and Gable.

Donat ended up surprisingly sassy in The 39 Steps playing against Madeleine Carroll.

Um, the most serious picture I have of Gable and Colbert.

This has got to be the least obnoxious "hand-cuffed together" story line I've ever seen. Was this one of the first?

But I think It Happened One Night wins out in the end since you get to see these two spar for the better part of the movie, what with the donut dunking and all.