Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of February 4, 2012

Another month and only a few new songs in the Billboard Hot 100 Top 10. Let's take a look-see.

10. "Domino" by Jessie J

Apparently this Jessie J thing is happening no matter what, so congratulations world, one more song for large dance camp numbers.

9. "Niggas in Paris" by Jay-Z and Kanye West

(via occupypawnee)

'Nuff said.

8. "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson

I kind of like Kelly Clarkson despite the fact that each of her songs sounds the same/are about deadbeat exes. At least she usually has an empowering message?

7. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO

Please let this fall in the charts mean that this song will soon fade from the radio waves.

6. "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars
This song gets more hilariously mopey with each listen.

5. "The One that Got Away" by Katy Perry

I've become obsessed with how K. Per says "meh" (met) and "Radioheah" (Radiohead) during the first verse of this song. Needless to say, I'm over it.

4. "Turn Me On" by David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj

David Guetta has been turning out some good dance hits lately, this time with Nicki Minaj who is singing and limiting her crazy rap style. Thanks for importing M. Guetta, France!

3. "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida

Over it. Flo Rida's douchiness is finally overwhelming every listen to this song.

2. "We Found Love" by Rihanna
Still happening.

1. "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Stop it. Just stop releasing these horrible songs. You're a talented girl, so stop being so obnoxious. And take some Prozac.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of January 7, 2012

Happy New Year, kids. What does 2012 have to offer? More of the same and some new awfulness.

10. "Dance (A$$)" by Big Sean featuring Nicki Minaj

I can't believe this is a real song.

9. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO

Seriously guys? Stop shuffling.

8. "Someone Like You" by Adele

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

7. "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele

In case you didn't want to cut yourself enough from the last song, how about another instant adult contemporary classic from Adele. I've only heard it once, and I'm already sick of it.

6. "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida
Eeeh. Still energetic.

5. "Niggas in Paris" by Jay-Z and Kanye West

Who knew that Blades of Glory would be featured in a quality hip-hop single?

4. "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars
Middle school dance, much?

3. "The One that Got Away" by Katy Perry

Not as catchy as her other songs, so it's kind of become mediocre filler radio to me.

2. "We Found Love" by Rihanna
I keep forgetting the British accent in this video; it's so 15-year-old angst. Still some great sugar pop.

1. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO

I just learned that these two are an uncle-nephew duo. I don't know what to do with that information, but I can say for sure that I'm continually dumbfounded by this group's success.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of December 3, 2011

Another month and more dance beats have entered the charts. Let's check it out.

10. "The One that Got Away" by Katy Perry

Another catchy song from Katy Perry. At least it's not "Someone Like You"-level sad given the dance beat. Plus, Diego Luna is pretty hot in the video, so I'll allow it.

9. "Take Care" by Drake featuring Rihanna

Rihanna owns my soul at this point. She's cranking out a lot of good songs lately, even in the midst of mediocre songs she's releasing. But damn, I'm liking this collaboration with Drake.

8. "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine
Really?

7. "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida

This would be a great workout song, if I actually worked out. I have to say I'm just glad someone is sampling a recent house artist for the chorus rather than covering overplayed indie hits from the Garden State soundtrack era. Sorry, that's been weighing on my mind lately.

6. "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera
Still around.

5. "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars

I'm too distracted by Bruno Mars' Jason Priestly hair in this video to comment on how perfect this song choice is for the Breaking Dawn: Part 1 soundtrack.

4. "Without You" by David Guetta featuring Usher
I for one welcome the return of dance pop songs. At least pop music is serving a purpose (spontaneous dance parties) in addition to being candy music these days.

3. "Someone Like You" by Adele
Not enough "I can't" in the world.

2. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO
I don't hate this song as much as I used to. The "wiggle" breakdown is just so ridiculous, you have to admire a grown person for putting it in a song.

1. "We Found Love" by Rihanna
Haven't gotten sick of it yet.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of November 5, 2011

Hope you're recovered from Halloween. I, myself, got wild by eating leftovers and watching TV with my boyfriend. Now that I'm back to full strength (boredom?), let's look at this week's Billboard Hot 100 top 10.

10. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett and GoonRock

I'm pretty sure I speak for the nation when I say, "Over it."

9. "Make Me Proud" by Drake featuring Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj proves once again she's better as a featured artist on a song than a solo act. Also, college is hot.

8. "You Make Me Feel..." by Cobra Starship featuring Sabi

I'll keep this song around. It's a pretty solid choice for shameless dance parties.

7. "Without You" by David Guetta featuring Usher

If Ugly Betty was still on, this would have been used in the final montage of every episode.

6. "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine

Okay, just stop playing this song. Thx.

5. "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People

You'd think a month would be long enough to have more of a shake-up on the Billboard list than it has been. Anyway, I'm also over this song.

4. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO

Ugh, this song also is still existing. At least I can say I never liked it in the first place.

3. "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera

There may have been a sibling sing-along to this song last weekend. Deal with it.

2. "We Found Love" by Rihanna

There's nothing to this song. It's the same 3 chords on a keyboard over and over, the same melody over and over with no bridge or chorus, the beat only occasionally changes or drops out, and obnoxious siren-y sounds show up sometimes. But I also can't stop listening to this sing. Damnit, Rihanna, why do I like you right now?

1. "Someone Like You" by Adele

Sorry about your vocal folds, Adele. This song is still annoying, though, since your style of music can be played on 75% of all radio stations, and usually on 2+ stations at one time. May your vocal rest slow the release of any more R&B/Pop/Adult Contemporary albums.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of October 8, 2011

It's time to check back in with Billboard and see what the masses are listening to this month.

10. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO

Apparently these crazy kids are at it again, this time with something more blandly typical of the group. There isn't really a hook, and I would not recommend watching the music video. Seriously.

9. "You Make Me Feel..." by Cobra Starship featuring Sabi

I can't lie to you kids, this song is my new jam, and I can't stop listening to it. Unlike LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It," its electronic flavor works and backs up a well written pop song. And don't even get me started on how much I love the disco guitar strums in the second verse. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

8. "Yoü and I" by Lady Gaga

Is anyone else freaked out that she has a version for your own hometown? In Seattle, she's actually singing about Seattle on Seattle radio and it weirds me out because HOW DOES SHE KNOW. Also, this isn't helping the fact that I find her to be just as mercenary as any other pop artist. I will admit that I'm delighted to find that "Mutt" Lange still has the late-90s, Shania Twain touch. But then I remember "you" is spelled with a umlaut, and then really I can't decide how I feel about this song.

7. "Cheers (Drink to That)" by Rihanna

Rihanna almost had me convinced I was a fan with dance singles like "Only Girl (In the Word)" and "S&M," but this generic, medium tempo schlock is disappointing. I mean, generic is the name of the pop game, but at least you could leave out A SAMPLE OF AVRIL LAVIGNE FROM "I'M WITH YOU." Ugh. Is that where we are? Sampling Avril Lavigne now?

6. "Lighters" by Bad Meets Evil featuring Bruno Mars

This song still exists.

5. "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine

The chorus is still the best part.

4. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett and GoonRock

Remember LMFAO's one good song?

3. "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People

Fact: this song has been out for over a year now. That's really all I have to say about it.

2. "Someone Like You" by Adele

I feel like this is one of those songs I would like better if I just had a breakup or was suffering from an epic unrequited love situation and then started weeping loudly for an hour listening to it on repeat shamelessly singing along and using a whole box of Kleenex to clean up the various liquids coming out of my face. As it is, I'm just glad it's not "Rolling in the Deep." And of course Adele sounds great.

1. "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera

Really? Still number 1? The "moooOOOOoooooves" part is damn catchy, and y'all know I'm loving the disco guitar riffs, but it's so random. Whatever, I'll go with random over boring any day.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of August 31, 2011

A month later, and not much has changed. But thank goodness enough has changed for me offer some commentary.

#10 - "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine

I hate to admit that a bro-rap band has a half-decent song, but they owe it all to my boyfriend Adam Levine singing the catchy chorus. However, they are still unforgiven for raping Supertramp to create "Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast in America."

# 9 - "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, and Nayer

Still a solid choice.

#8 - "Good Life" by OneRepublic

Still bland.

#7 - "How to Love" by Lil Wayne

Can't even listen to this crap.

#6 - "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

It grew on me, and then got bad again. Mostly because I can't rap along with Nicki's crazy affectations.

#5 - "Last Friday Night (TGIF)" by Katy Perry

OVER IT.

#4 - "Lighters" by Bad Meets Evil featuring Bruno Mars

I didn't think I knew this song, and then I realized that I always change the station when this song is on. So apparently Eminem and some other dude from Detroit called Royce da 5'9" create "Bad Meets Evil." And then they decided they needed a crappy/generic chorus from Bruno Mars. Eh.

#3 - "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People

Hey boyfriends, apparently you're a success now that you're not just on the alternative stations. Glad to see the popular kids will be singing about gun violence, too.

Side note: the lead singer is just as goofy and awesome in concert as he is in this video.

#2 - "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock

Still catchy.

#1 - "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera

Remember when I was all, "This song doesn't make sense and Christina Aguilera's voice is grating but I kind of like it? That analysis still holds. Inexplicably this song is #1. At least the video has both Mick Jagger and people trying to dance like Mick Jagger, thereby demonstrating the awkwardness of Jagger's moves. Also, shirtless Adam Levine who is still smarmy-hot.

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10: Week of July 30, 2011

I have this kind of terrible commute to an internship I'm doing this summer (contributing to one of the lamest and grayest summers of my life). That means I have about 45 minutes to an hour each way to flip stations in my car a few days a week and listen to terrible pop music. Except I stop forgetting it's terrible and just embrace its catchy melodies and sing along loudly in my car. To celebrate my love/hate relationship with pop music, I'm going to write about it here--or rather the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. I somehow miss out on a lot of the more "rock" pop songs on the radio, so there is bound to be some surprise awfulness.

#10 - "Skyscraper" by Demi Lovato

Fact: Right now is the first time I've heard this song. It is truly awful. Anything this dependent on similes is ultimately saying nothing because I have no idea what she's comparing. Not to mention that the ~emotions~ so prevalent in her scratchy voice is the stuff overwrought lyrical/modern dances on So You Think You Can Dance are made of. I am never listening to this song again.

#9 - "Tonight Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae

First of all, this is a band name that exists. Second of all, doesn't this song sound like it's been out for 5 years? I do have to admit that I find it charming they slid in the name "Zach Galifianakis" into a song. But then again, that would have been way cooler 5 years ago.

#8 - "Good Life" by OneRepublic

Sounds like every other OneRepublic song: bland with a good beat. But they will never be forgiven for "Apologize." Please don't make me make an intentional pun out of that last sentence. Let's leave it with irony.

#7 - "The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga

I can't tell the difference between this song and Katy Perry's own scream-out-of-her-range-song, "Firework," until the saxophone solo comes in (except even Ms. Perry has a song with a saxophone in it--see #3--my point being that Lady Gaga tries just as too hard as Katy Perry). Anyway, catchy.

#6 - "How to Love" by Lil Wayne

I keep wishing the tinny acoustic guitar in the background would start playing "Hole Hearted*," but it doesn't. Instead I'm stuck with a song fit for middle school, straight-arm slow dancing.

#5 - "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

I keep thinking the chorus of this song is that part in Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" where she sings about her skin tight jeans, which is too bad because I really want to like Nicki Minaj for some reason.

#4 - "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele

How 'bout I never hear this song again? It's a good song, great vocal performance, sassy, retro back up singers, etc. But literally every radio station plays this song. I'm done.

#3 - "Last Friday Night (TGIF)" by Katy Perry

Have you noticed I've become a connoisseur of Katy Perry's music? I'm kind of ashamed (almost as much as I'm ashamed of this music video that features a cast of 80s has-beens, Rebecca Black, and the cast of Glee, and then tries to play off a romper circa 1990 as nerdy when everyone knows that nerdy of yesteryear = hipster). But I have to give her props for beating Lady Gaga, Fleet Foxes, and Bon Iver on the Saxophone Renaissance of 2011 (her Teenage Dream album was released last year). Damn.

#2 - "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, and Nayer

I love Ne-Yo so much he made me hate Pitbull less. Great chorus, pretty good bridge. Approved.

#1 - "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock

I've been having dance parties to this song for months, and I don't hate it yet. Longevity, my friend. Also, I'm kind of charmed by the music video for this song.

*These two songs do not sound very much alike at all, except maybe at the bridge of "Hole Hearted" and the intro of "How to Love." Basically, any excuse to mention Extreme.