Live blogging the Voice: 6/29/11

I actually have time to do this now! Let's pretend none of us know who won last night.

Carson and Christina circa TRL years.

Lots of guest artists tonight. Let's just hope it creates some awkward musical moments. But only after watching the finalists on Jay Leno. Masturbatory NBC promotion that's taking way too long. Oh good, actually performances are next.

Vicci Martinez is up first. We get to relive her flat pitch moments in sepia tones. Also, her "war dance." She's performing "Drops of Jupitor" with Train's Pat Monahan. Can we talk about my hatred of Train? So bland. So over-played. So early 2000s faux-witty lines that include "soy latte." I am fully expecting Jenna Elfman to just appear somewhere on this stage. These two sound good, but I'm so bored. SIDE HUGZ. Cee Lo is waxing poetic about his love for Vicci. I'm distracted by the sequins stripes on his Adidas jacket.

TECH GIRL, YOU'RE THE WORST. APPARENTLY HER NAME IS ALLISON.

Javier Colon is next. He's talking about his kids. Is voice is amazing. He's tearing up. Adam Levine being hot. I'm okay with this video package. OMG HE'S SINGING "LANDSLIDE" WITH STEVIE NICKS. I love that Stevie Nicks looks like she was styled by the Wiccan Emporium circa 1996. Javier providing the upper harmonies to Stevie's melody line is lovely. They are sharing a double-hand-hold eye contact moment. And Christina just readjusted her boobs. On camera. Adam is tearing up about how beautiful the duet was and how awesome Stevie Nicks and "Landslide" is. This is why Adam Levine is my The Voice boyfriend.

Beverly McClellan is next. Something about how she's the "youngest at heart" in this competition. She's singing with One Republic's Ryan Tedder. Ugh. One Republic is the worst. It reminds me of my junior year of college--which already sucked, but then my roommates listened to that band on repeat. This song, "Good life," is really boring, and these to singing random "oh"s on top of each other is kind of the worst thing I've ever heard. Christina talking about how much she loves Beverly. She is also shouting out to the other judges and calling them the big brothers she never had. Talk about awkward timing.

Dia Frampton is last. And now I'm remembering that she wore denim, skinny jeans overalls to the auditions. Blake is comparing her to his wife Miranda Lambert. Except Miranda Lambert is the awesomest and Dia is not so much. Miranda is killing her song "The House that Built Me", while Dia is breathing the song, Donna Lewis style. Gross. They sound pretty good harmonizing, though, mostly because Miranda is holding things together. Dia just doesn't suit country music. Blake is a bit emotional, and is declaring Dia as family. Carson Daly may or may not have wiped away a tear.

Can we just talk about this coach-singer relationship? It's kind of adorable. Except Christina is probably the least helpful of the coaches and comes off as a bit showy in her affection. Anyway, it's a nice element to the show.

Okay, the results. Apparently the top two were within 2% of each other. Adam is clutching his desk thing for dear life. Dia is in the top two. So is Javier. Javier is #2 on iTunes and Dia is #1. And the winner of The Voice is Javier Colon. Awww, well done. Also, exploding confetti and hugs. What a feel-good show. And Javier gives a classy thank you speech and does a "hoo!" to control his emotions.

That's it, folks. Let's see what season 2 brings us. Hopefully less Christina.

Live blogging The Voice: 6/28/11

Final performance show!


It opens with the coaches taking the stage. The return of a Queen cover (this time with David Bowie) with "Under Pressure." Good choice, except every time Christina sings solo, Freddie Mercury's corpse cries.

Things that will be happening tonight: finalists performing with their coaches and an original song (~interesting), as well as Brad "totally endearing" Paisley, and other surprises.

Oh good, a 43958734985734985 minute recap. All you need to know is that the finalists are

Team Christina: Beverly McClellan

Team Blake: Dia Frampton

Team Adam: Javier Colon

Team Cee Lo: Vicci Martinez

Blah, blah blah. Chatting to the finalists. Chatting to the coaches. Lol, Carson Daly made a TRL reference. You're still as boring of a host 10 years on.

Cee Lo chatting about wanting more strong females. I like that. Adam and Christina are bland. Blake is darling as usual. Isn't Blake just a breath of fresh air for TV?

SHUT UP, TECHIE GIRL.

Javier Colon is up first. Rodney Jerkins is helping out with the original song. This song is entitled "Stitch by Stitch." Acoustic-tastic. Let's see if I can come up with a good pop culture formula for this song:

(The Script + Eva Cassidy)^21st Century Adult Contemporary = "Stitch by Stitch"

Judges critiques: Blake: "He's a good dude." Christina: Song suited him well. Cee Lo: "Sounds like it's your song." Adam: May or may not have gotten choked up.

Dia Frampton is duetting with Blake Shelton with "Won't Back Down." Well, it's a sufficiently bland enough song for Dia. To be fair, they're wearing shades and suits, Blues Brothers style. Dammit, this is adorable. It reminds me that sometimes Tom Petty songs are good in a driving-in-the-car sort of way. Question: Do that many guitarists in this back-up band have long hair? Solid, forgettable, cute performance.

Vicci Martinez is up next for her solo. Butch Walker is producing her single. Vicci confesses to Dashboard Confessional as her teenage guilty pleasure. She's pretty awesome. Her original song is called "Afraid to Sleep." She's carrying around the microphone stand. Pop culture analogy for the song:

(80s Heart + Pink)/Oh oh oh = "Afraid to Sleep"

Judges critiques: Adam: talking about having fun being a spectator. Invested in her performance. Apparently she has some jeans Adam gives her. Blake: Been in her pants joke. Christina: great performer. Cee Lo: "A force to be reckoned with." (Have I mentioned Cee Lo's red silk robe/tunic thing?)

Random performance of Pitbull and Ne-Yo "Give Me Everything." Pitbull is everywhere these days, including that ridiculous Jennifer Lopez song "On the Floor" that I hear at least twice per day during my commute to my internship. He's kind of an obnoxious rapper, but I love me some Ne-Yo. Except he just tried to seduce Christina. Ne-yo, you're in the danger zone.

Beverly and Christina will be performing "Beautiful." Barf. Anytime anyone performs this song and it's not in Mean Girls, I have second-hand embarrassment. Well, it wasn't that terrible. They kept things stripped down except their tacky vocals. Beverly sounded better, though.

RIDICULOUS PREVIEW FOR SOME SINGING SHOW WITH DEBORAH MESSING AND "BEAUTIFUL." FAME PART 2: THIS TIME IT'S NOT GLEE?

Dia Frampton is next. Cheesy things are said during the recording. Her song is titled "Inventing Shadows." Pop culture analogy:

(Regina Spektor x Rachael Yamagata)/The Fray = "Inventing Shadows"

In other words, vanilla as hell, but with potential to not completely suck, but it kind of is super boring.

Judges critiques: Christina: trying to pick a fight with the judges, and Blake owns her. Cee Lo: song will probably be #1 on iTunes (BECAUSE IT'S SO BORING). Adam: distracted by the dancers in the background (because he's awesome). Blake: talking trash, like a champ. Can I just vote for Blake?

LOL. Javier and Adam are singing Michael Jackon's "Man in the Mirror." Darling choice, and it'll take advantage of their high ranges. This song is so magic, and these two sound good together, although I wish they would harmonize on the chorus. Javier is totally owning Adam on the key change. I love they're both doing the "hoo!"s. Nice.

Guys, Brad Paisley is performing. I can't say I know every song he's ever written, but I always like his songs, and I'm kind of in love with him. Blake is joining in! Of course. One of these days Blake will perform next to someone and not be a foot taller than them. This is not that day.

Beverly McClellan is next. I missed who the producer is again. I've decided I don't care. Her song is called "Love Sick." It's incredible how bland all of these songs sound on first listen, but would probably all become hits. This original song bit is a fun twist to a voice performance. Pop culture formula:

Journey x Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band = "Love Sick"

Guys, this is my favorite song of the night. My classic rock tendencies have spoken, once again.

Judges critiques: Cee Lo: getting poetic. One of his favorites. Adam: it was ~fun~ Blake: "If music was crack, you would have a serious problem." Christina: work ethic and big heart.

Cee Lo and Vicci are singing Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield." I love Cee Lo's musical choices. Cee Lo looks like King Bowser. Vicci may or may not be the leader to a short of stature post-apocalyptic tribe. This is brilliant. Any time you can combine small children dancing, spikes, gritty vocals, and 80s chick rock, do it.

I don't know who to vote for. Who is your choice?

P.S. I won't be live blogging tomorrow night, but I'll post something celebrating the winner. Good night!

Reason #4327 thirtysomething is awesome

That one time Angela Bassett played Richard Cummings Jr.'s wife on season 3 episode 5, "Legacy."

The Audacity of Rock: Part 36

Reggae ghosts.

Emphasis on beats 2 and 4, creepy backing vocals, and classic horror instruments (be it organ or harpsichord).

"Ghost Town" by The Specials (1981)

There's actually some pretty interesting historical background of this song, including rising unemployment and civil unrest in the UK. Mostly, it's just an awesome song that blends unlikely genres. Seriously, Middle Eastern something with reggae, with 1950/60s horror with a mariachi(?) bridge. I'll allow it.

Not even trying to look they're performing live.

"Two Against One" by Dangermouse and Daniele Luppi starring Jack White (2011)

Apparently this whole album, Rome, was inspired by Spaghetti Westerns? Which, sure. I'm not sure of the inspiration for "Two Against One", but something by Ennio Morricone is probably a safe bet. I'm also not sure what this song is about, but probably someone with low self-esteem if his mirror is a trigger. Mostly, I just like acoustic guitar/harpsichord/surfer guitar/reggae thing going on.

Questions:

1. Do you remember the good old days before the ghost town?

2. Is Jack White in every recording studio at once? Why or why not?

Live blogging The Voice: 6/22/11

First results show live blogging. Let's see how this goes.

The last time she wore a shirt.

Carson Daly is not wearing a tie. The semi-finalists are singing some sort of George Michael medley of "Freedom '90" and "Faith". Obviously. This is delightful because, what the random? Also, all of the singers pretty good, except poor Dia and Xenia are too gentle to sound like they fit. Christina update: she's wearing a shirt with her name on it. The ladies at my internship were appalled at how fat she looked last night during the Maroon 5 /Christina song. It was both hilarious and a bonding conversation.

Will you judge me for flipping to SYTYCD during this recap? Oh wait. Stupid couple. Flipping back. Don't worry I'm "enjoying" a routine by Mandy Moore to "Addicted to Love" on SYTYCD. Why is this woman obsessed with the 80s? BTW, Debbie Reynolds is the greatest.

BACK TO THE SHOW.

Team Cee Lo is up first, Nakia and Vicci. I know everyone in the Tacoma-Seattle area is routing for Vicci. I think Carson Daly wants everyone to cry based on the ridiculously personal questions he's asking. Cee Lo is reading a letter that ends "Red 'til I'm dead." Heartfelt. He voted 51 Nakia, 49 Vicci. Apparently he couldn't hear Vicci over the drums from his seat. And adding America's votes, Vicci is the winner. Pacific Northwest!

SYTYCD update: Debbie Reynolds is singing old timey songs.

BACK TO THE SHOW.

Cee Lo is performing "Bright Lights, Bigger City." He's apparently a band leader tonight. He is also wearing some sort of 1920s?30s? wig some sweet dancers move around him. Adam Levine is laughing for some reason. At least Cee Lo has suspenders.

Apparently Adam Levine is featured on Gym Class Heroes' "Stereo Hearts." Is this a band I'm supposed to care about? Also, barf. Stop gushing.

Okay, Casey and Javier from Team Adam are up next. Adam voted 65 for Javier, 36 for Casey. Adam's rationale: wants to give Javier a better chance since Casey's such a baby. COMMERCIAL BREAK. Javier wins! Not that surprising. His voice is perfection.

Awkward video package involving Xenia being awkward around Brad Paisley. Oh, apparently it's a Blake Shelton performance. Dinner update: I'm eating reduced fat Chips Ahoy! Actually pretty good.

Dia and Xenia from Team Blake are up for elimination. I'm kind of fond of these two, even if they don't seem very versatile. Blake votes 50/50 for his girls, but America puts Dia into the finals. Look for some adorable, scoopy vocals in your future!

Team Christina's Frenchie and Beverly are next. I guess I prefer Beverly, if only because she didn't sing a dance club version of "Like a Prayer." Christina looks serious. Even her crimped hair looks almost solemn in some sort of rubbberband braid (what is that called? The Jasmine Look?). Christina voted 50/50. Boy, Adam looks kind of like a dick now. America's votes put Beverly into the final show. Fabulous. She's fun.

Carson Daly is putting a word in for all the sponsors. He is such a boring host. Why doesn't Cat Deeley host everything? Whatever. I'll see you next week.

Live blogging The Voice: 6/21/11

2 from Adam and Cee Lo are up for elimination. And who knows what else is in store for this ever-changing format show. Welcome to the semi-finals, y'all.

Nice shirt.

Oh! 8 of the semi-finalists are performing tonight as well as Blake Shelton and Maroon 5. And we're off to elimination. This is a surprisingly chipper pace.

Team Cee Lo eliminations are first. He says it's a very "sensitive moment" for him. The most votes went to Vicci Martinez. I like her sass. Well done, America. Oh. I zoned out for that entire deliberation, but Cee Lo chooses Nakia. I'll miss you Curtis, and your sleazy ways.

Team Adam eliminations are next. Javier Colon got the most votes, so he's staying around. WHO ELSE WILL STAY? I actually like all of Adam's team. Adam says "fiber of my being." Is this testimony meeting? HE CHOOSES CASEY WESTON! Aww. I'm so glad. I think Jeff will go places now that he's had some exposure. Casey's a kind of random contestant, so I'm excited for her.

What the crimpy french roll is on Christina's head? Whatever, Frenchie is first, and Christina chooses "Like a Prayer" for her to sing. Good choice. Best Madonna song ever? And if someone who can actually sing in a gospel way sings, it will be delightful.

Frenchie's Performance: Gospel choir surrounding her. Fabulous. The tempo is faster, and it sounds like a Cher circa "Believe" remix. Failure. Frenchie is a good singer, but this arrangement is kind of boring. Tacky breakdown at the end.

Judges Critiques: Cee Lo: "That's my soul sister." Adam: "I love you." Blake: something overly complimentary. Christina: talking about how much effort that performance. Fine. She was good, but that song was boring.

Nakia is going to see Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me." At least Cee Lo chooses random songs that aren't overdone. Nakia is having a moment with the lyrics of the song. Tender.

Nakia's Performance: Playing the piano in a white suit: classy. Awww, yeah, the band kicks in. Stone cold sunglasses look on Cee Lo's face. Nakia starts working the stage. I'll say this, it's probably more enjoyable than Adam Lambert's rendition.

Judges Critiques: Adam has the exact same critique as I do. We are soulmates. Blake: "Freakin' award show performance." Christina: loved it. Cee Lo: Team spirit! Nakia's going to be a star!

Commercial break thoughts: The results show tomorrow is totally going to cut into my So You Think You Can Dance viewing. I just had a resurgence of my SYTYCD obsession. Oh well. They're making us watch the same 20 dancers dance again. Although they're going to kick off 4! of the dancers on Thursday. Oh my!

Dia is next and will be singing "Losing My Religion." Coach Blake says "Whippin' (kickin'?) some A." Dia going to make the band clap hands during the chorus while she's playing guitar.

Dia's Performance: When did this over-articulating each word singing style come into fashion (especially "r"s)? Anyway, she sounds good. So do those hand claps. Again, if you're going to cover a song, at least make it interesting (take note, Christina).

Judges Critiques: Christina: She's grown so much on the show. True words. Cee Lo: Likes that Blake let Dia see her ~vision~. Adam: "Atypical choice." He's a fan. Blake: A girl stood on the stage and left her heart on the stage. He says, "Gosh damn." (side note: What is with the wind machine on Dia?)

Casey Weston is next and will be singing "I Will Always Love You." At least Adam is advising her to not sing like Whitney Houston. No kidding. If you must sing like someone, Dolly Parton is always a better choice.

Casey's Performance: The wind machine is at it again. Aww, and Casey is more Dolly than Whitney. Good for her. The simple piano and violin accompaniment is lovely. Beautifully and simply done.

Judges Critiques: Blake: she blows her away every week, also she is hot. Adam: blah blah blah, they battle. Their arguments pay off.

Can I mention that I'm so glad no one hams up when their phone number is flashed on the screen, using their fingers to show us the number? WTF is that?

Maroon 5 is performing their knew song "Moves Like Jagger." This is sounding disco-licious. Also, is this the sort of person Ke$ha was singing about. Gross, Christina is singing now. Her voice is like the banana of music. There's no way to ignore that she's singing, her voice annoyingly permeates everything, much like bananas combined with anything. Good thing she has more cleavage right now. More questions: did Mick Jagger have that impressive of moves?

Beverly McClellan is next. Christina chooses "The Thrill is Gone." Does everyone play an instrument in this competition? Bev's rocking the piano right now. Christina is modelling a terrible way to squawk through the song.

Beverly's Performance: Beverly sounds pretty good, but she's getting too showy. I'm sorry. But some of these singers pull out all of the stops immediately and remove all sense of building any anticipation. Still, at least it's not millennial Cher.

note: Carson Daly is still awkward.

Judges Critiques: Cee Lo: loves her, loves how many people are musicians on the show. It's true--how cool that these people have skills. Christina: Loves Bev's bluesy, soulful side.

Javier Colon is next and talking about how terrible the music industry is. OH. "Fix You." By Coldplay. Adam's preaching melody fidelity. I just made up that phrase.

Javier's Performance: You guys, this is reminding me that I don't hate this song. It's so damn cheesy, but Javier's killing it. He's got a beautiful high range. Well done, sir. And Team Adam 4ever.

Judges Critiques: Christina: Liked it, but wanting to see a more ~soulful side. Cee Lo: Name dropping. Complimentary gibberish. Adam: blah blah blah, Javier's hat is off. Best voices he's ever heard ever. Truth.

I'm ignoring the twitter shenanigans happening right now. Now Blake Shelton is performing "Honeybee." I think I've actually heard this song on the radio. Probably when I've been flipping stations when the classic rock station is playing Rush. Seriously, Seattle? What is with so much Rush on the radio? Anyway, adorable song, adorable man, and a honeycomb motif in the background. Cute! Dia and Xenia just joined him on stage. How precious is Team Blake?

SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PRESIDENT OBAMA TOMORROW NIGHT? Ahem. Xenia is up next. She's singing "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by Script. Is this a band I should know about? Inspirational coaching about how awesome Xenia is.

Xenia's Performance: I love her smooth little voice, and she's getting so confident. Good for her. Adam: ~uniqueness. Sleep song, but she sounded great. Christina: Xenia's maturity. Blake is a Papa Bear. One of her favorites. Cee Lo: Likes how "quaint" and "unaffected" she is by the competition. Blake: Wants to hear Xenia's voice on the radio.

Xenia's face when she was forced to hug Carson Daly was priceless.

Good news, Love in the Wild starts next week.

Vicci Martinez is going to sing "Dog Days are Over." Apparently it means to live your truth. Tender moments about her dad. Cee Lo says she wants to be healed.

Vicci's Performance: Oh snap! She's percussioning! She's giving it all she's got, unfortunately, Florence Welch from Florence + the Machine has such a distinctive and perfect voice, I can't quite get into it. It really is a song that's more about the voice than the melody, so it doesn't translate well to such an unpolished voice.

Judges Critiques: Adam: She killed it, amazing, dynamo, he loves drums. Blake: Most powerful performance of the night. That's pretty true. Christina: Great performance, loved it. Cee Lo: something about a warrior spirit and dancing to a different drummer.

The judges have to divide 100 points between their two people which will have an equal weight to America's votes. I have to give the producers this: each week is different.

Final thoughts: Anyway, I'll be pulling for Team Adam and Team Blake. I know only 1 from each will make it, but I can dream. And apparently they cap votes to 10x. So, you know, calm down. Carson is collecting envelopes from the coaches. Good night and I'll see you tomorrow.